Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Today, I finally felt comfortable enough to fart in front of my boyfriend for the first time. He went quiet, got up and left in his car. I haven't heard from him in 4 hours. FML
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
Today, my husband and my daughter engaged in a fart war. Guess who go to do a pile of shitty laundry, while the other texted his friends about the “hilarious” incident? FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
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Top comments
AsianCookie247 14
You Are just now farting in front of him? ...
sariannacanna 6
How did you survive for 26 years and never farting in front of him?!? Thats some extreme control *claps and nods* lol
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Comments (171)
heythereyouu_fml 4
Well now u know not to fart in front of him...
needsagf14 12
I thought women don't fart. My world=boooom
ashleys562165 0
How do u not fart for 26 years?!?!
general58 2
you held a fart for 26years? I can't even imagine how long and smelly it was.
feisty1 0
You need to fart in front of them all much more often. Then it won't be such a big deal anymore.
nastyness 0
I can belch like a trucker, but haven't farted infront of my husband..and that was no easy task while pregnant!
Fozzy8989 0
sucks
hateevryone 15
fart in front of them. that'll shut them up.
YoshiXclusive 0
Only athletes can do that. Like a boss!
slompy7 2
Were u the small spoon?