Today, I divorced my husband of 20 years. The only positive thing about my day was my pregnancy test. Yes, it was his. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I are divorcing because HE had an affair. He now wants a paternity test. FML
Today, my ex dumped me for his ex who'd cheated on him. Today, I also found out I'm pregnant. When I told him he said, "I’m really happy for you. I hope it all works out." FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I buried my 8-year-old son two weeks ago and had my husband serve me divorce papers three days ago. FML
Today, I found out that my ex-husband just had a baby with his new partner. We only split up a week ago. FML
Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML
Today, I had to break the news to my husband that I had miscarried our first child, to which he replied, "Thank God!" and told me he wanted a divorce. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, my husband of 12 years announced that he wants a divorce and that he hadn't liked me in YEARS. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office after getting a positive pregnancy test. She did another one to confirm the result, which came back negative. My husband is wandering around with a great big smile on his face, because he isn't going to "have a rugrat." FML
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Top comments
jessicaazzzzzzzz 3
...was?
Nevereverland 8
Congrats!! At least it wasn't a positive HIV test.
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Comments (340)
akg98 13
Lovely
xmaximusx 12
Oh well they have things to take care of that now A days ! Or maybe its a sign you should not have been such a difficult wife !
zandalee 20
What?
1crabbygirl 10
xmaximusx figured out what kind of wife this person was by reading the very same thing. we all read. psychic? I think not.
buttercup1998 5
Wow that's a rude ass comment!! You know it's ppl like you that should get their lips sown shut!!!
day624 14
And now you will have a child that has all the annoying habits you hated in your husband
mvems 13
Hahaha a nice old fashioned cynics joke. Spot on
smb12346 17
Not unless you raise your child properly.
day624 14
Genes
MrRager7 1
Maybe this is the universe telling you to stay together and to work on it.
kkkutie 7
Would you get child support for a child born after a divorce was finalized?
mvems 13
Yes, regardless of marriage it is still his child too.
TheDrifter 24
Oh yes, she chooses, he pays, no matter the circimstance. Its like winning one painful lotto.
mariah_victoria 0
Dafuq. I've seen this one before. -...-
SluggerJ 7
What happen to "Death do us part"?
williamcarter93 13
they need to change that, it should not be until death do us part. It should be 'until something unforgivable do us part....because there are things like that
suckmylife669 0
Who thinks? "Ill have sex one more time then divorce him"?
jose18 3
Why get a divorce after 20 years?
MissMae93 23
...Because they don't love each other anymore? Cheating? Financial issues? There are plenty of reasons.
candylandy 1
My mom got a divorce after 23 years.
bettyboop428 24
My grandparents separated after 40+ years. I don't think they wanted to pay for the divorce but they couldn't stand to live together anymore.
CeeCee_fml 16
For 20 years worth, I would consider the baby a sign to try and work things out.
betseyville 6
Kids are never a reason to stay together. You can still co-parent while not being married to each other.
Ch0sen 13
And that kind of parental mindset is why so many kids are so deranged now.
MedKits 9
Yes, kids can definitely be a reason to stay together. Some parents would want their child to know mommy and daddy love each other..
QueenSaru 28
Or if they stay together "for the kids", it's a perfect way to show their kids just how much they hate each other. Staying together JUST for the kids is never a good thing for anyone. No one moves on, and there's enough resentment to choke a horse.
candylandy 1
I'm sure they tried, they were together 20 years after all. What I don't get is if it was so bad then why were they still having sex ?