Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML
Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML
Today, my mom lost an argument and tried to ground me. I’m 43 years-old and own my own house, so yes, she actually tried to tell me to stay grounded in my own house. FML
Today, my mom went to a psychic. The reason? She has convinced herself that I'm gay, even though I've told her that I'm not, and never have been. The psychic disagreed. Apparently, I'm bi-curious with one of my guy friends. Guess who my mom believes? FML
Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML
Today, my mother threw a fit because the psychologist she got me suggested I visit a psychiatrist. Apparently, it's my fault because I "choose" to be so "crazy". FML
Today, my mom ended up having a midlife crisis. She decided it was finally time to get those tight leather pants that she has always wanted, and is now planning on putting a stripper pole in her room. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me a pep talk to boost my self confidence. Somehow, it ended up turning into a conversation about how much of a loser I am and how I have no friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago told her that I was cheating on her, telepathically. FML
Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML
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Top comments
ThatGenericGuy 6
Bitches be crazy
malikorslip 3
Sounds like "the minority report"
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Comments (96)
malikorslip 3
Sounds like "the minority report"
astoryofroses 9
tell her she's about as psychic as Shawn Spencer :P
Cashtangoteam 10
Well OP might as well go out and do something wrong now , that way he gets his money's worth on being grounded.
romesh17fml 8
Do something bad and get grounded OR doing nothing bad and get grounded anyway. If you're gonna get grounded might as well do something bad
mylifesucks_fml 1
Just do something crazy and ask if she saw that happening too. Or ask what she saw
fromthesuck 8
Preventative measures and damage control at the same time. That's some special kind of parenting.
ReesieBanana21 12
Ok then..?
sirsquab 12
Problem is, if he does something bad because he's grounded anyways, he just "proved" hat she's right. Of course, if he does nothing, she miht think that it's because she grounded him in advanced...
AKGirlinSD 20
I'd suggest you do what you want. When she freaks out about it, ask if that's what she thought, that, that was the bad thing you were going to do. There's only one way to find out, right? :-)
MrFuzzles 5
Tell her you have the same gift, and your powers are telling you there is a crazy person in your home. Comment # 100 woohoo! Where's my trophy?
GVirdi 11
23 oh yeah? I have 8 Badges
dathan 14
watch out, we're dealing with a badass over here.
sleepywaterpony 5
No badge, have a badger.
gracevet88 0
Ur #2
sirsquab 12
Well played 78. Badgers > badges.
iwilkilalzmBs 2
No bobbleheads for you #2
ThatGenericGuy 6
Bitches be crazy
TrueTriage 16
Oh the thumbs this will receive probably right next to "that's a shitty situation"
hockeyoceancity 13
13- Looks like you're not like OP's mom, don't try to read people's mind, doesn't work for you.
mango260 9
Sounds like mi mum!
TarieBoo 2
haha defective bitches be crazy(:
False_Stupidity 42
#13 was referring to their own comment, of course ;-)
DarkRemorse 1
I think it's time for her to go to the psychologist
thesubconscious 9
Tell her it's a terrible thing to change fate. It will alter the future and destroy us all!
mattorama 15
People like that won't go to a shrink. They're convinced it's everyone ELSE who is crazy.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Tell her you inherited her powers and tell her you forsee her being wrong. Not to mention a little wrong in the head as well.
FranzFerdinand 18
Yeah, OP should inform his mom that she's using the wrong word - she means "pyscho", right?
astoryofroses 9
tell her she's about as psychic as Shawn Spencer :P
ModernLightz 9
Thumbs up for the Psych reference :D
burro_fml 6
I'm watching reruns on demand of that show right now!
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Hi, I'm Shawn Spencer, and this is my partner Control Alt Delete.
madamazinDana45 6
Maybe this is the lowest point and she wont go any farther.
zingline89 18
This is not an FML, this is a blessing in disguise. Now you have free reign to go do something awesome cuz either way you're grounded so you might as well earn it.
PaulB123 11
What an odd situation, if you just take the grounding, you get grounded for nothing. If you rebel, you prove your mom right! Your mom is a genius! :o
flashback.miss 28
Well played, OP's mother. But otherwise, she needs to see someone...
stormchaser24 24
No the lowest is when she buys a $100,000 car or something like that. Well, you still have your phone/internet while grounded. So attest you are lucky to have that.