Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel movements, he also names them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML
Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML
Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML
Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML
Today, I came home to to find my roommate spinning on a computer chair, shitting everywhere. He'd taken Peyote. Now the whole place smells of poop. FML
Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML
Today, a student pooped his pants in my office. I work with undergrad and graduate students. FML
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Top comments
luvppl 6
Hey, it's a conversation starter. :)
WCARlover 35
More like a conversation ender...
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Comments (179)
lollipop77_fml 6
Be thankful he doesn't introduce you to each one - icky!!
SunSHINEdasies 3
Naming them is weird... why is it so weird to talk about poop? Everyone poops nothing to be ashamed about.
eurekaroy 6
That's a shit ton of names.., no pun intended.
shake_my_head 2
"Bob was f-cking massive. Like, never seen one so big. I kept having tonpush and push and push" - ah the things to look forward to
IndigoAcrylic 9
When ever my dad has a bowel movement.. He always says "gotta go drop off the brown kids at the pool!" It is so embarrassing..o-0
wond3rbread 0
what kinda drugs is he on?
blele15 2
at least he isnt a super weirdo like in "the roommate".
TrollFeeder 10
He must have a poop name list. For example: The Beer Dump, The Chili Dump, The Mona Lisa Dump, The Machine Gun Dump, The Tijuana Trot Dump, The Houdini Dump, and last but not least the Fisherman's Bobber Poopie.
slipperyeyebrow 0
my boyfriend names his cum shots too. a little head start on potential baby names ya know?
shake_my_head 2
and your cool with this? "oh baby, here comes Freddie"
CryMoreFMLs 15
Every time I see Boner's name, I smile because I know it's goingto be a hilarious comment.