Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel movements, he also names them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML
Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML
Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML
Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML
Today, I came home to to find my roommate spinning on a computer chair, shitting everywhere. He'd taken Peyote. Now the whole place smells of poop. FML
Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML
Today, a student pooped his pants in my office. I work with undergrad and graduate students. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
luvppl 6
Hey, it's a conversation starter. :)
WCARlover 35
More like a conversation ender...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (179)
PapSmearNinja 4
poop is funny
SirBedevere 0
"And I call this one 'The battle of midway'. Toilet was never the same after that."
xX_LilSammie_Xx 4
I'm curious to know how many people walk into college and new roommates and such and think to themselves " I will be the most disgusting, perverted, retardedly creepy roommate EVER!"
KaskStunter 4
Start naming the knives and generally any tool with lethal potential in the room.
Wynthos 2
Anybody who finds this to be strange needs to get out more.
jonmansheppard 9
Ok, *gets out photo album* this one is crappy, because it is my first crap this one is my girlfriend, because it's. shaped like a heart this one is my dick because it's really long... xD
bubo_fml 11
I used to call 'em my "trophies!"
yankfan89 27
Maybe he considers them his babies. Women name their babies. He names his, it's totally natural.
Jesikaa8 1
Hahahaha.
delfino1604 24
Hey bro! i just dropped a jeffy! he must have had adhd cuz he's all over the walls.. btw can you clean that up?