Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel movements, he also names them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML
Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML
Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML
Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML
Today, I came home to to find my roommate spinning on a computer chair, shitting everywhere. He'd taken Peyote. Now the whole place smells of poop. FML
Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML
Today, a student pooped his pants in my office. I work with undergrad and graduate students. FML
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Top comments
luvppl 6
Hey, it's a conversation starter. :)
WCARlover 35
More like a conversation ender...
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Comments (179)
KiddNYC1O 22
Mr. Hanky
daxter136 0
Ghost poop, Timmy toot toot, slimy, whitey(from drinking too much), brownie, blacky, stringy, biggie, green, Paris Hilton, George bush, Obama, gasser, gassy, [your name here]
itsbridgetbtch17 2
ah hell.
manic_maniac11 13
It could be worse :P
colorfullyemo 4
consider you're self lucky, my dad yells out updates.
itsallgoodintheh 0
Well I have no idea what that even means!!
androiddestroya 7
trololololol :)) u mad bro?
itsallgoodintheh 0
That's not very nice!!
neimato1 0
****** akward
ADub55 0
I hate when that happens.
btbamfan75 0
atleast he doesnt show them to you
ffcloudforever 0
Maybe he does...ew much??
manbearpig7173 0
One of these days he's gonna use your name for one of his *****...