Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that having done a killer workout with free weights the day before is all well and good, but it is neither conducive to playing difficult piano pieces nor to… uhm… masturbating. FML
Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML
Today, even after months of vigorous exercise and diet in an attempt to gain muscle, I have not gained any muscle. Instead, my body is putting fat into the one part of my body I can’t work out: my face. FML
Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I was trying to work out, and couldn't even complete an exercise regime meant for 50-year-olds. I'm 24. FML
Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML
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Top comments
markrs 0
You're dicksfunctional
DrDiamond 0
Hey having sex is exercise too... The fun kind
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Comments (294)
LeiT 0
Ouch :D
Iamnotmyself 17
Steroids, less pain, now with the same effects as body building!
AaronTkr 0
body builders have disgusting bodies.
number0 8
I wouldn't say "ouch." A simple solution would be to have morning sex before your workout. It's a win-win-tigerblood situation.
Marktheshark 0
How bout you lay off all of those supplements you guys take
captainTexas84 0
I agree with #9
YacL 15
I agree with #23.
AaronTkr 0
i agree with #27 for agreeing with #23 for agreeing with me.
enonymous 9
You don't need to have an erect penis to have sex ;) sometimes it's ok to be the pin cushion and let someone else be the pin
hellbilly205 17
Probably due to the steroids...
Drigr 9
it's all them roids giving you ED not the "working out"
flossybaben 0
must be all those steroids.
Jammy01jams 2
Erect penis or erect muscle. Choose wisely.
DynamicDave 11
Better bone up on your tongue and finger skills.
Zambaku 9
At least you won't look like that guy with muscle boobs :D
VeganVampyre 27
I agree with 34 for agreeing with... Oh, I'm not going through all that. Point is, I agree. =)
ktateprado 0
^ if you're really a vampire how come I can see a picture of you.
Amrel 10
Shes obviously a vampyre not a vampire this aint twatlight i mean twilight
AKSpray 4
Have you taken them or researched them to be knowledgeable about this?
kevinfenchak 0
Today, I discovered that if I take steroids, I can't get an erection, but if I don't take steroids my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML. fix'd it for ya
sparklecherry 4
:-O
achillies87 0
It's called overtraining?
scrapmetal58 9
Some guys get erections whilst working out because of testosterone and the blood pumping and whatnot. My dick has a 6 pack. :)
Bobthedrunk 2
maybe it's time to quit the roids?
humorizer 14
Better than the alternative: Finding out you can only get erections while you are working out. And when I say while, I mean literally while working out. In the gym. In front of testosterone fueled muscleheads that don't like no queers. ;)
humorizer 14
Better than the alternative: Getting a boner only while working out... And yeah, I mean *while* working out, not after! :O
chicajojobe 1
#6 Yeah, maybe not the best solution. Along with shriveled testicles, growing breasts, and lactating, steriods can also make guys unable to get it up.
kelsey_katie 17
Why would you need a boner while lifting weights to begin with..? Edit: I read this wrong, I'm sorry bro. That sucks:(
apv0222 0
Stop eating the steroids then and it will all work fine
bjdavey 8
What I want to know is how the heck did you figure this out!?
ScaughtieHolden 11
73, he couldn't get it up when he exercised, he could when he didn't exercise. Durr.
kelsey_katie 17
But, when exercising, why do you need to get it up to begin with..?
ktateprado 0
^ you really are blonde aren't you. It means if he works out that day he can't get it up for a while after it.
fauxyhaha 0
^ why the blonde joke, man ???
kelsey_katie 17
Okay. Just because I'm blonde, doesn't mean I'm stupid. That was uncalled for, and rude. I didn't realize what it meant until now.
happymelon 0
When receiving a blonde joke, don't acknowledge, don't respond, don't take it as a personal attack. I mean, it's not OUR fault you were born with a slight mental defect.
zakkyzebra 11
152, just because you're blonde doesn't make you stupid. You being stupid does.
mvkmat 0
Stop juicing u meat head and get muscles the real way. Plus ur balls dont shrink
kelsey_katie 17
I'm not stupid. Wtf?
abdullahfive 8
scroll up and see
verlorenerFall 8
73: he probably has a sex life. Something you'd have figured out pretty quickly if you had one too..
Dandaman2078 4
Your a jaclass
PinkieKeen 20
Oh yeah? What if I said gingers had no souls? Huh?! What now?!
DrDiamond 0
Hey having sex is exercise too... The fun kind
tsim_fml 0
Try working out in the women's gym.
0pt1mus 6
Why is it a pic of your butt??
sydie5 12
I laughed when I saw 3's comment, pic, and bio. Bio: "I love things that go fast."
AnagenisisZagus 13
You love things that go fast? Well, OP, I do believe we have found you a mate.
SecretlyEvil9792 22
Good idea.
pixelebrate 0
3- nice ass?
ktateprado 0
I think they can work something out.
Mattsta123 5
Your own muscles turn you on
jake92hsv 10
No, that's just what steroid do..
starsfan_9 7
it could be worse, you could be a bodybuilding **** star
techweed 12
Wouldn't want to be in your place
ariannaimelda 7
Yikes. What a hard dilemma: sex or work. Hmmm... (pun not intended)
alxndr5120 7
But will it be buttseck?
HomeAl0ne 20
Can't see what the conflict is here. Whichever choice he makes he gets to be a big dick.
Tobias5505 0
190 wins the Internet for 1 week, 2 days, 4 hours, 3 minutes, and 28 seconds, starting yesterday. Regarding op, you are deadlocked, but if you already have muscles, just work to keep those, maybe work out monday tuesday wednesday, not on the rest
forevermylife 0
So true
FMLaddict20 5
Women or being able to satisfy the women... That is the question
btown99909 0
you may hAve done too many **** push ups
TwitchingNebula 17
Nope. Too many roids.
HJ0HN50N 4
I believe one is really all you can do
markrs 0
You're dicksfunctional
eltapatio16 5
Go to the doctor.
22cute 17
Agreed! That sounds like a sign that you're working out too much. Or at the very least doing something terribly wrong to you body. Why risk your health for bodybuilding?
shovels 0
13, you have an awesome picture!
eltapatio16 5
Thanks!
a_nutritionist 10
@40 not necessarily, erectile dysfunction can occur without "doing something horrible to your body". its possible his supplements are responsible, but youd need to check what hes taking compared to the mechanism responsible for erection. but still, odds are since hes a body builder hes following nutrition advice from those whos signature advice comes down to "proteinz r teh awsum". interesting tidbit, excess protein has been shown to reduce testosterone levels in men...still a good idea? :P