Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that having done a killer workout with free weights the day before is all well and good, but it is neither conducive to playing difficult piano pieces nor to… uhm… masturbating. FML
Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML
Today, even after months of vigorous exercise and diet in an attempt to gain muscle, I have not gained any muscle. Instead, my body is putting fat into the one part of my body I can’t work out: my face. FML
Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I was trying to work out, and couldn't even complete an exercise regime meant for 50-year-olds. I'm 24. FML
Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML
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Top comments
markrs 0
You're dicksfunctional
DrDiamond 0
Hey having sex is exercise too... The fun kind
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Comments (294)
perdix 31
Stop working out and go to your next competition with a flabby body and a raging boner. You'll look awesome in your little thong, particularly if you oil up your junk. Maybe some of the judges will be gay chubby chasers and you'll win.
manbearpig7173 0
At least this way you will literally be bulging out everywhere.
dirtdude19 0
I guess your weights are your new playboy's
sheethapins 13
Get a new job or get Viagra.
broomy89 8
Yup roids will do that to ya
perdix 31
One way to go is to pursue your profession and learn to love anal (receiving only.) After you retire, you can have babies with a Kennedy and a maid.
cb1209 2
Stop taking steroids then u should be fine.
mollyslips 13
aha, you're not getting laid!;-)
superpacker85 0
thats not helpful for this situation at all
decidedlyvague 11
viagra. pharmaceutical cure for ED.
Wolfs_babygirl 10
Lift weights while having sex... you'll get good cardio!
SecretlyEvil9792 22
Or put a picture of a weight on the girl's face.