Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that having done a killer workout with free weights the day before is all well and good, but it is neither conducive to playing difficult piano pieces nor to… uhm… masturbating. FML
Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML
Today, even after months of vigorous exercise and diet in an attempt to gain muscle, I have not gained any muscle. Instead, my body is putting fat into the one part of my body I can’t work out: my face. FML
Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I was trying to work out, and couldn't even complete an exercise regime meant for 50-year-olds. I'm 24. FML
Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML
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Top comments
markrs 0
You're dicksfunctional
DrDiamond 0
Hey having sex is exercise too... The fun kind
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Comments (294)
Livinia 11
Sex is a work out too.
0pt1mus 6
Only good if you do it with right person :)
e9836 0
Agreed. And I figured I'd message you like your profile says. Especially considering it's 3:30am here and I can't seem to fall asleep ;)
coltsrock37 15
It's the best workout:)
heyygirl14 2
^ weirdo
cradle6 13
I know I'm taking this too seriously but sex isn't good enough for anyone who is serious about weight lifting. Plus it's only cardio, and since OP is a pro bodybuilder, I have large doubts that he wastes much time with cardio when he needs to be weight lifting in order to break down his muscles. Even so, it's something OP is taking that's causing this, probably steroids as his symptom is a sign of hormonal issues. OP, try to think about your long term well being balanced with your lifestyle.
0pt1mus 6
You're gay. With your gay self.
HomeAl0ne 20
It's more of a workout with the wrong person. All that running and chasing, struggling, fighting, trying to pin her down.....wait, why has it suddenly gone all quiet in here?
AKSpray 4
actually if it were anything it would be him being off steroids without doing a PCT. steroids make you a sex machine.
AKSpray 4
Congratulations, you're the 200th dumbass to say the same wrong, dumb thing as the other 200 dumbasses.
abcd4242 0
K wait 30 how do you send messages? Just wondering. Thanks!
1911_Angel 0
Maybe you should exercise your brain and get a new career?
AhhBrenid 8
I agree
alym1617 0
^ this. since when is being strong a career anyway, I mean unless you're in the circus
forevermylife 0
What kind of a job is body building anyway?? I mean build a body to show off and then what, all u r left with is your last few steroids and drugged up life
liy223 6
Yah... You should get that checked.
lilmissdangerous 9
Oh the dilemma, that sucks dude I'm sorry
drloves69 4
Viva Viagra
dreamering 16
You should set your testosterone, I mean your priorities straight.
stroudie94 9
Which muscle is worth more to you?... Better yet, which muscle will really attract the ladies?
Quyzl 0
It's not a muscle. Lurk moar.
currychicken 4
take it in the butt
SecretlyEvil9792 22
Well obviously.
tonz82 2
Just do some **** pushups! Guess how many you need? Just one.
HJ0HN50N 4
One is all you can do
e9836 0
You're probably not getting your blood pressure where it needs to be after you work out then. Try taking a few grams of L-Arginine in the morning and night. It'll accumulate in your system and helps dilate your blood vessels for easier blood flow
crazyredbug 0
Off topic here...but does this work for circulation problems to your hands too?