Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that having done a killer workout with free weights the day before is all well and good, but it is neither conducive to playing difficult piano pieces nor to… uhm… masturbating. FML
Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML
Today, even after months of vigorous exercise and diet in an attempt to gain muscle, I have not gained any muscle. Instead, my body is putting fat into the one part of my body I can’t work out: my face. FML
Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I was trying to work out, and couldn't even complete an exercise regime meant for 50-year-olds. I'm 24. FML
Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML
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Top comments
markrs 0
You're dicksfunctional
DrDiamond 0
Hey having sex is exercise too... The fun kind
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Comments (294)
DamnSmooth 0
Holy crap ... this may very well mean you'll eventually give up one or the other. (Pray to god it's not bodybuilding, cuz you may than have nothin to attract women with but just your personality.)
camelspanker69 0
steroids will do that to ya..
lemonlift 6
it's cuz your heart is busy pumping blood to other places in your body that actually need it while you're working out! :P
DannyRitz 3
Stop juicing.
masqu123 5
To many steroids...?
Offensive_fml 4
Career change?
portcaveman 5
that really sucks
Z4CH1NT05H 0
So basically you have impotency due to steroids? Hmmmm...
AKSpray 4
That's odd...I wonder why endocrinologists would prescribe steroids to cure impotency then. Surely you must have confused sterility for impotence. Or maybe you just don't have a clue what you are talking about. I bet it's the latter.
ballbearing 10
Stop doing steroids
BobOsso_fml 8
Stop with the roids and you wouldn't have that problem.