Kathryn
United States
Today, I went to my favorite all you can eat buffet. The cook tapped my shoulder and told me to stop eating. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Nelson, New Zealand
Mixed signals
Today, I got told I was too fat and needed to stop eating, because I need to lose weight. I was then given a full plate of food and had to eat it all. FML
pizza girl
Nettleton, United States
Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML
Anonymous
United States
All you can eat buffet of shit
Today, my dad insisted on taking us to a local buffet that is known for bad food and botulism. He kept piling things onto a plate for me, despite my objections. A waitress commented on how much was on my plate. I told her I wasn't hungry, and it was my dad's doing. Her response, "Your skinny self needs to eat." FML
Pookie
Ironic
Today, I saw someone at the buffet get two plates in a row. I told my date that, “People nowadays have no self control.” Unbeknownst to me, he was within earshot and told me, “FYI, I was getting a plate for my disabled mother.” After dinner, my date unmatched me and blocked my number. FML
I apologize on behalf of my mother
United States
Helicopter parents
Today, I was getting food at a buffet. Suddenly, my mom appeared and started screaming at a guy for pushing me. I wasn't pushed by anyone, I just tripped over nothing. The poor guy looked so confused and embarrassed, and my mom wouldn't let me defend him. FML
hadrienne's pall
Markham, Canada
Sorry, I didn't mean…
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Yuni
United States
Mom of the year
Today, I went to a restaurant that I always go to, and one of the cute waiters gave me a discount. My mother called me a whore in the middle of the restaurant, then slapped me when I cried. FML
Hahamaster333
Assumptions
Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML
drkate25
Enfield, United States
Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML
fuck
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Somerville, United States
Health and wellbeing
Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML
Top comments
Ben360 6
Tell him to eff off!
ariannaimelda 7
Tell him it's an all you can eat buffet and the customer is always right! Dont feel bad OP. Eat, drink and be merry! :D
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Comments (185)
Ben360 6
Tell him to eff off!
AaronTkr 0
awww.... what an ass.
Marktheshark 0
Tell him you want to speak with the manager, that always makes them shit themselves
ilovecookies83 0
The cook needs to get laid or something 8-) Don't worry OP, you paid for your food and should be allowed to eat all you want :)
eshhayz 0
looks like he wanted to "desert" you since you weren't so buff-ey?? hehe
ilovecookies83 0
47- double you tee eff !?
austinkiser 3
hope u told him to get back in the kitchen and make u a sandwich
DynamicDave 11
This is when you threaten to cannibalize him.
juicedboi 7
-47 Dessert. That is all.
Sportsfan86 3
or just ignore him and take another plate of food
ktateprado 0
I think we can all agree that the best solution is to tell me to make you a sandwich.
ADTRarmyFTW 4
You go ahead and nom on that buffet OP
koolkat27 13
50- I think 47 was trying to make a joke
ConaNate 0
47. No.
Kayzee01 8
Yeah, tell the guy MAKING your food to "eff off". That's smart.
Jazze_fml 10
tell him sure when you get a full refund for not giveing you what they advertised. you can not have an open buffe and tell customors to stop. under no circumstance is that legal. you can't sell someone something and then say the can't use it anymore either.
tburke1 7
Or the cook actually cares about her and thinks she needs to stop eating cause shes getting fat...?
glowbaby 15
Sue him!
ariannaimelda 7
Tell him it's an all you can eat buffet and the customer is always right! Dont feel bad OP. Eat, drink and be merry! :D
stabbed1ntheback 0
For tomorrow you may be in UTAH
theten_fml 9
Just tip the cook
GabbyCharityM 0
When you said merry, this made me think of Santa Clause.. A jolly fat man at an all you can eat buffet.
ktateprado 0
^ I think I saw Santa clause at one before.
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
Maybe he watched that 1000 ways to die where the fatass ate too much and died.
ktateprado 0
^ I saw that one.
gangstaco_ol 3
I saw that one too ^
heavymetalman1 0
I live I'n Utah assehipe
kendybendy 6
Maybe you should tell him that you'll eat him
VeraJK 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Maybe you need to lose some weight
TheTwistedOtaku 16
you can eat a lot and still be skinny...
VeraJK 16
I really wish there was a comment delete button...
VeraJK 16
21 thumbs down? Lol, that's my new record! And when I wrote that comment I really wasn't thinking...
loveexgirl 15
Were you thinking when you wrote that comment?
YacL 15
Or maybe the cook was being lazy and didn't want OP to eat the last of the food so he wouldn't have to cook more.
ilovecookies83 0
Vera, maybe you should think next time? You wouldn't get so many thumbs down then.
JizzKhalifa 0
Skinny or fat, everyone wants to get their moneys worth at an ALL YOU CAN EAT buffet
littlestmOnster_fml 1
MAYBE?! Duh !
Rosalie_Haostn 0
Soooooo true. XD
ktateprado 0
I eat more than most fat people.
VeraJK 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It was 3am when I wrote that. I was tired.
venom1996 0
Stfu u bundle of sticks!!
ipodlover1995 0
^^ I see what you did there.
celly18 2
Ok already Vera we get it
gabinel1 0
i have a six pack abs and i can eat like 5 plates at a buffet.. depends of ur metabolism and energy u use..
kelsey_katie 17
I'm sorry OP. The cook is just a selfish mofo who wants thefood all to himself. He had no right to tell you that. It's an all you can eat buffet, so he needs to shut it.
possiblyapotato 10
I'll prob get dislikes but the cook doesn't want the food for himself...he's cooking it. he could cook himswlf some anytime
techweed 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Tell him to SUCK YOUR BIG BLACK CLOCK Did you misread that, you filthy bastards??:-)
drzhottie148 0
Lmaooo I was shocked when you asked if we misread. Good one
markrs 0
I got it and I thought you misspelled hahaa
PeachyJinx 7
Yes I did you false advertising mofo lol
Pheepqhee 0
Oh you little..
mikeyb102 0
I see what you did there.
deadeyedex 6
Clever...
raaachel12345 0
LOLOLOL I was about to point out her name is Kathryn, and typically women do not have big black cocks, but rather big black clocks. Hahaha
josh5634 0
lol. good one!
vbmg152 19
Good one!
WashingtonSkins 2
Haha what if your Asian or Indian?
Toolishing 22
How novel
FMLaddict20 5
He cant if its all you can eat then you eat as much as you want
unluckiestperson_fml 14
I don't quite know why but this is all making me really hungry
hippo1234 19
I don't quite know why, but all of this is making me really horny.
DarkMoon159 5
Comment about his food quality with your mouth full!
sparklecherry 4
If it were that bad, he wouldn't be eating it.
btown99909 0
sue him for false advertising
thebano 4
Why dont we just find a reason to sue the piss out of everyone then?
angrymexican 8
South park?
TheTwistedOtaku 16
Keep going back for more just to piss him off.
0pt1mus 6
You have to get full after awhile though.
sxe_beast 11
You can just stay there until you get empty and then return for more!!!
Zeek63 0
Or he could go get a bunch of food throw it on the floor and go back and do it again and if they ask him tell them that the floor was hungry too.
eltapatio16 5
This reminds me of peter griffin for some reason. Lol
stabbed1ntheback 0
Was it family guy or Simpsons where this happened?
sheethapins 13
All you can eat burgers was Peter. Gave him a seizure.
ragzy 7
Could also be Homer where the Sea Captain settled out of court for him to come to the resteraunt and be the attraction "the man with the bottomless pit". Or something along those lines!
tzuriel11 9
#43 YOU would know!
YayFlameWarz 9
43- funny thing is it was a stroke. Not a seizure
KsiHalfSquatch 0
stroke*