Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that having done a killer workout with free weights the day before is all well and good, but it is neither conducive to playing difficult piano pieces nor to… uhm… masturbating. FML
Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML
Today, even after months of vigorous exercise and diet in an attempt to gain muscle, I have not gained any muscle. Instead, my body is putting fat into the one part of my body I can’t work out: my face. FML
Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I was trying to work out, and couldn't even complete an exercise regime meant for 50-year-olds. I'm 24. FML
Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML
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Top comments
markrs 0
You're dicksfunctional
DrDiamond 0
Hey having sex is exercise too... The fun kind
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Comments (294)
onthetoilet 3
Stay off the juice
goose187 3
Maybe you shouldn't do steroids
psala 0
Get off the roids!
h0ward076 0
well good news is all the steroids will cause your junk to shrink soo it's not going to make a difference for the girl..
crazyman20012001 0
Steroids?
name_of_user11 2
ydi for having THE MOST USELESS profession on the face of the Earth
ReynshineCutting 10
It's only "useless" to ignorant ***** who don't care. I could say that being a receptionist at an office is useless too because of automated systems and because I think desk jobs are horrid. There's nothing wrong with bodybuilding, idiot. If you could turn your favorite hobby into a career, you'd do it in a second.
TheNewGuy03 29
99 -- well said. 89 -- perhaps you shouldn't have a profession. Perhaps you can, too, drift through life aimlessly without a clue in the world where you're going. Maybe then you'll find true happiness. *snicker* The fact of the matter is that people enjoy different things, and as long as it doesn't harm others, then there is no reason you shouldn't be able to do it.
ReynshineCutting 10
Thanks Kid. I'm engaged to a bodybuilder so I totally get it and get to live the life of a show wife :)
hchardman 0
One word came to mind when i saw body builder, - steriods...
AKSpray 4
one word comes to mind when you talk as if you know anything about them: moron.
My_Nightmare 19
Did you ever think maybe it's the supplements you're taking?! C'mon, use your brain, it's a muscle too.
Nemmycakes 3
The brain is an organ, not a muscle.
TheNewGuy03 29
I think you're thinking about the heart, which is a (mostly) involuntary muscle. Funny how people confuse their heads and their hearts these days. Makes you wonder...
hethomas27 0
My trainer is a body builder and that's clearly a personal question that I wouldnt ask him..but during competition he works out vigorously. In the off season he just maintains his workouts. Maybe you need to cut down ur working out. You still keep ur muscles but u can also hav sex. Problem solved
OhSnap_NoWay 0
I bet it has something to do with the supplements you use