Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML
Today, its been so long since I've been single, I’ve reached the age where I need Viagra just to masturbate since there’s no woman in my life to save the pills for. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML
Today, after years of impotence, I woke up with a raging boner. I was so happy until I remembered my wife divorced me last year because of my impotence. This depressed me so much that I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to masturbate, and the boner went bye bye, never to return. FML
Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML
Today, I have erectile dysfunction but have also recently gotten a girlfriend. She is very understanding but I decided to try Viagra to get things going. I had the rare reaction of a boner lasting hours that put me in hospital. I can’t win, it’s either no boner at all or a boner that tries to kill itself. FML
Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML
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Top comments
tounces7 28
Sounds like either a medical or a psychological issue, frankly. I'd get it checked out before you aren't able to get one even with a woman.
RichardPencil 32
You can always rent one.
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Comments (7)
tounces7 28
Sounds like either a medical or a psychological issue, frankly. I'd get it checked out before you aren't able to get one even with a woman.
RichardPencil 32
You can always rent one.
ThrottleJockey 36
You can rent an erection?
RichardPencil 32
No, you have to buy Viagra. You can rent a "girlfriend."
diraven 15
This would make a great pickup line
lev 11
then go out and meet some girls!
spinspinsugar 12
who said you needed a gf to get laid? **** all the biddies you want (safely, of course).
annerenb 6
You're problem isn't getting an erection, you're problem is obsessing over another man. Maybe that's how you get erections my friend.
xbaconator9000x 16
Being able to become aroused is to do with proper functioning of your parasympathetic nervous system. Being able to ****** involves your sympathetic nervous system. Some drugs like, antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs, suppress your sympathetic nervous system which can make it difficult to ******. On the flip side, amphetamines affect your parasympathetic nervous system and may make it difficult to become aroused. But that's only part of the story. Depression, anxiety, ADHD, and similar conditioms affect your autonomic nervous system, throwing the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems out of whack. Often the above drugs help restore balance to those systems if you struggle with a psychological condition. So, take your meds if you have them, or see a psychiatrist and/or a psychologist if you don't take them or don't have a diagnosis. Not saying there's definitely something psychologically wrong with you in this regard. But Occam's razor and all that.