Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that having done a killer workout with free weights the day before is all well and good, but it is neither conducive to playing difficult piano pieces nor to… uhm… masturbating. FML
Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML
Today, even after months of vigorous exercise and diet in an attempt to gain muscle, I have not gained any muscle. Instead, my body is putting fat into the one part of my body I can’t work out: my face. FML
Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I was trying to work out, and couldn't even complete an exercise regime meant for 50-year-olds. I'm 24. FML
Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML
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Top comments
markrs 0
You're dicksfunctional
DrDiamond 0
Hey having sex is exercise too... The fun kind
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Comments (294)
TheNewGuy03 29
So I have to ask -- by "professional bodybuilder," are you talking about IFBB, or the natural leagues? Steroid cycling *could* be the problem, but not always. Perhaps you have low blood pressure. I dunno -- if it persists, you should go to a urologist.
jobsman99 0
stay off the steroids. I found the opposite to be true. my 8" was more erect as I exercised. on fact my gal and I do work out together that includes weightlifting exercising and lots if hot sex.
TheNewGuy03 29
So it was absolutely imperative for you to announce to the entire FML community that you have an 8" penis? Good job; now put your words to good use and do ****. Or not.
NurseVamp 7
its the steroids man...
icetoners 0
It is? So then why do they prescribe testosterone to people with ed and muscle wasting?
yoshiyakiryu 20
Thank god I wasn't the only one who thought steroids. It seems like half of the FML community thought the same.
ReynshineCutting 10
Not all professional bodybuilders use steroids. There are actually a lot of guys who take pride in being natural. All the supplements they take are safe to use and steroid free. Even if he is on steroids, that's his choice and a normal part of his profession, so telling him to stop is like telling a mailman to stop delivering mail. Also, yes sex is a workout, but no you won't build muscle doing it. Sex is primarily cardio which most bodybuilders never do, so that's not helpful in the least. Weight training is how they build muscle, and the muscle they build burns more fat than cardio would, so it's really unnecessary. Do some research guys. There's a lot more to bodybuilding than just steroids.
TheNewGuy03 29
100 -- yeah, you're pretty much right. Coming from someone who does bodybuilding as a hobby, it's beneficial to do some cardio, even if you're one big hulking ball of muscle. Many top bodybuilders go for 3- to 5-mile jogs to boost their metabolism, but they don't overdo the cardio, as your body begins to effectively cannibalize the muscle mass to maintain energy levels. Cardio isn't as "popular" with bodybuilders, yes, but most top bodybuilders will say that it is necessary to do some.
ReynshineCutting 10
Ya it's just not a priority like the weights. My fiancé is a bodybuilder and he can't do cardio because of how he's built. He's 6'6 and can't break 170lbs no matter how much he eats or hits the weights. One of his buddies does some like once a week, but thats about it. He is lucky though that he doesn't have to do a contest diet whatsoever because if he does his body gets depleted. He's got a show on the 20th and we had cheesy green chile chicken casserole for dinner last night lol. The other guys at his gym hate him. Nice to see another BB on here who gets it. My fiancé is all natural and always will be and he's so proud of that. Keep on lifting!
TheNewGuy03 29
Hahaha, awesome. Most other bodybuiilders hate ectomorphs and mesomorphs, because they hardly have to do anything to maintain their condition. And yes, I completely understand -- if he does much cardio at that weight, then he'll lose everything he's gained! No one likes that! And you're very welcome! :]
atarisrocks 6
Steroids do that to you
RyNo24 4
Lay off the roids dude...
hopeless321 3
Stop juicing and stay hydrated. Those are the only things that exercise and a lack of a boner have in common.
rate_ya 0
Roidzzzzzzzz
jaegermiester7 0
Damn steroids suck hey??