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Phil Canada

Today, I came to the realisation that the longest relationship I've had by far is the one I have with my hemorrhoids. FML

78

Collection

Wild Nights Out

Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.

Same thing different taste

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Top comments

DocBastard 40

Hemorrhoid are like those so-called "friends" you hang out with because no one can tell them to go away. They are both really irritating, they're both a pain in the ass, and they both bleed when you poke them with sharp sticks.

supimnyancat 9

Probably lasted longer than Kim Kardashian's marriage.

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Comments (78)

hockeyoceancity 13

Well i hope that wasn't a long relationship either...

CaptTeemo 10

Too bad you can't break up with that relationship

Insane_Tea 15

Hemorrhoids usually are a recurring illness and run in the family. They can even happen without the victims knowledge. Very unfortunate OP. Now for the comedic relief! You should get out of that abusive relationship! No good can come of it. I know it's embarrassing to tell others about your problem. But they can help. The first step is communication my friend. :)

DocBastard 40

Hemorrhoid don't "run in the family". Sorry to burst your bubble. There's nothing hereditary about them.

MizzErikaHart 8

He thinks that cuz everyone in his family has hemorrhoids....

Insane_Tea 15

I apologize. My information was false. I was just stating information that someone else had passed on to me... I have seen the errors of my ways. FORGIVE ME MIGHTY INTERNET. *performs seppuku*

kira_the_boss 1

Facebook status: "In a relationship with hemorrhoids."

kyarush 10

Better then Genital warts....

muhaidib 2

I just got out of that relationship, I got a surgery two days ago and it hurts like hell sitting down or going to the bathroom…

person961 9

I would rather be alone than dating hemorrhoids, hope you heal though.

ananonymousguy 0

Sneezing with them is the worst... There is nothing you can do but brace for hell.

TarieBoo 2

Match.com because 1 out of 5 relationships start online._.

RadikulRam 16

Did they talk back? :O

SqueakyChipmunk 22

Yes. They said, "WE'RE BEING SMOTHERED! WE WANT OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP!"

DocBastard 40

Hemorrhoid are like those so-called "friends" you hang out with because no one can tell them to go away. They are both really irritating, they're both a pain in the ass, and they both bleed when you poke them with sharp sticks.

Drew167 8

Go to the doctor and see of they can give you something for your hemorrhoids.

Drew167 8

If*

thejewishfuhrer 17

Ask DocBastard

SqueakyChipmunk 22

DocBastard: D:

Hearon20 0

Why would a doctor give you free medical advice? You should know by now that you have to wait in a room for at least an hour and a half and pay way too much for that kind of stuff.

1awliet 8

OP is from Canada though :)

Bumblebee4ever21 0

I believe OP has done that already, silly! (: that's also probably how he knew how long his relationship has been :/ poor thing..

SydMadrid 0

That sucks ass

supimnyancat 9

Might as well commented "omgz! 8th"

RadikulRam 16

#4 You can, there are surgeries for it.

CaptTeemo 10

If you wanna go through that then sure. I hate surgeries.

FMLshark 12

I'm pretty sure I'd rather have a surgery, a temporary unpleasant experience, than have a constant pain in the ass.

the_anti_hipster 7

But then he'd have no friends at all! A friend is still a friend, no matter how big of a pain in the ass they are...

downtime 13

20, Until recently that "temporary unpleasant experience" was basically a minimum of 2 months. Your haemmorhoids would need to be pretty severe to undergo such an operation.

sillyjonjon 4

Hopefully that relationship is ending soon

supimnyancat 9

Probably lasted longer than Kim Kardashian's marriage.