Phil
Canada
Today, I came to the realisation that the longest relationship I've had by far is the one I have with my hemorrhoids. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
This is us
Today, my husband asked me to check his asshole to see if his haemorrhoid had grown any bigger. This is my life now, all romance gone, and having to check his hairy ringpiece every day, and our kids wonder why I drink before I can fall asleep. FML
smf_ds
Rebordosa, Portugal
Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML
John
United States
Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML
Lenore
Setup
Today, I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. My husband said we should “adapt, not panic” and brought lubricant from the garage. It had a skull warning on it. Apparently I married an engineer. FML
Anonymous
Ace in the hole
Today, I have a hemorrhoid and a cold. Every time I cough or sneeze, it feels like someone is stabbing me in the anus. FML
Anonymous
Saint-laurent, Canada
Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML
P DarklyKira
Broken bum
Today, marks the 29th day since I missed my haemorrhoid surgery. They told me to wait because it's not life threatening and so that I don't get the virus going to the hospital, which I understand. The problem is, even though I take suppositories, it hurts badly and bleed each time I have to take a shit. FML
Anonymous
United States
Leaking from everywhere
Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML
Hurtingincanada
Today, I woke up with bronchitis and hemorrhoids. I'm getting married in 3 days. FML
rainydays79
United States
Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
Hemorrhoid are like those so-called "friends" you hang out with because no one can tell them to go away. They are both really irritating, they're both a pain in the ass, and they both bleed when you poke them with sharp sticks.
supimnyancat 9
Probably lasted longer than Kim Kardashian's marriage.
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Comments (78)
phuketboy 19
Opps
AxFETUSxFARMER 0
Lol this is hilarious! But in all honesty that sucks!
beastroish 0
That's just flat out disgusting...
_overandout_ 10
Well, that's a rom-com I'm hoping I'll never see :/
Jennielee 6
I hope you later came to the realization that you spelled realization wrong.
lixone 7
I hope you come to the realization that "realisation" is also correct.
downtime 13
61, Well colour me aluminium and call me a spanner, there are languages other than American?! I bet you wish there were rubbers that worked on the internet right now hey, mate? You've made a royal arse of yourself, and have buckleys chance of getting out of that one, ya drongo.
Jennielee 6
Jesus, it was a joke.
Jennielee 6
I'm completely aware that realisation is the European spelling. My mother is from Scotland. I was seriously joking. It's obviously not funny. My husband often says I have a weird sense of humor, I guess he's right.
DocBastard 40
Go google "American English versus British English" before you look any more foolish. Seriously, do it now.
estefanypseudo 0
On the bright side, they've stuck!
likeAwesome 3
Maybe they can teach you how to spell realization...
NoReservations 9
Hemorrhoid.. Sounds like the name of a spaceship..
3invert3 2
must have been a pain in the ass