Today, I asked my husband, of only a year, why we don't have sex anymore. He said it's because he masturbates. When I asked how often he did it, he replied "Every day that we don't have sex..." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML
Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML
Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML
Today, my husband won’t have sex with me anymore because he can’t be bothered. That’s been his excuse for almost three weeks, but he insists there’s nothing wrong, he just doesn’t want to. For reference, we had sex almost every day before this, so this is very abnormal behavior. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML
Today, my husband has lost over a hundred pounds. I'm happy for him, but now he has an incredibly high sex drive and keeps asking for sex almost every day, sometimes twice a day. FML
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Top comments
denvan 0
He must have one strong hand shake
WallyTheWombat 0
So I'm not too sure how this is played out. If he masturbates every day that they don't have sex... is it that they don't have sex cause he masturbated? or that he masturbated because op won't have sex with him? If 1: 1) Try to get to him first. if 2: 2) Quit complaining and sleep with your husband!
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Comments (145)
PapaCool_fml 0
Break a modem ....
EvilHippyEmperor 0
Ut ameris, amerabilis esto: If you would be loved, be lovable. A year ago he loved you enough to marry you, just make a little effort to put the spark back into your marriage and remind him just how much more exciting than his hand you can be.
asianlove516 0
that's messed up. he sounds like a jerk.
Igor_g5 0
Put superglue in his lubricant.
geeky69 0
Have you let yourself go in a year maybe that's why he won't bang you anymore
Rednomad 5
I can understand how the husband feels. It's more of deny him the sex when he wants it. It have to be on wife's term which could just doom the marriage already. It takes two to tangos not one side. Just be glad he isn't cheating on u. Everyone jumped on the husband like he is the bad one. Maybe its the wife that didnt give him enough attention. It's clearly what was stated at the end of the sentence, "Every day, we don't have sex..." Well, wife, suck it up and open ur legs when he wants it or spice up things to get that spark feeling back. Unfortunately, that may also be doomed already. Just be glad he isn't cheats on u.
Ginjar220 1
i wouldnt say whenever he wants it, she's not his personal sex toy. BUT when the wife wants it or husband wants it BOTH should try a little to get each other wanting it and then have sex. Right now the wife obviously should try and when they finally have sex he'll realize how much his hand doesn't do for him and try harder.
isac1234 0
ew
Noyes654 0
Obviously you need to accommodate him more, take it into your own hands if you catch my meaning.
jcurses 2
I agree with 134. From personal experience it's difficult to muster up the enthusiasm when sex is rare enough that it's almost a blessing to receive it. If, out of 52 weeks, you only have about 12 weeks to have an opportunity BUT you have the luxury of getting yourself off whenever you want eventually you become accustomed to solo play. At least we know that our hand won't reject us or lead us on or give some random excuse as to why it isn't a good time. Also it is aggravating to get a speech about how it's horrendous when we can't perform on a whim or we're not in the mood. I don't know about the OP but you have it coming if you tried the whole "...but I'm always in the mood." defense. It doesn't turn us on; it frustrates us and makes us less likely to incite something. So, to the OP, either do something to spark his interest and be consistent or deal with being sexually frustrated when your husband no longer wants it. You can't have it both ways.
BornToCheer 0
does he have parkensens???