Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML
Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years accidentally admitted to me that he settled for me because he doesn't think he can do any better. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend of three and a half years told me he was leaving me for a girl he met at his Uni, because, “I’m tired of jerking off all the time and I need intimacy.” He’s only known her for two months. So the three and a half years together meant nothing to him then? FML
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Top comments
Ninjerman 7
Anyone who says "you deserve it" either has the worlds biggest fingers or is the world's biggest asshole. Hang in there, you'll find a guy that deserves you
Chelserser 20
Better watch what he says or he'll have to get used to it. Hope he was joking though op! :)
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Comments (78)
Ninjerman 7
Anyone who says "you deserve it" either has the worlds biggest fingers or is the world's biggest asshole. Hang in there, you'll find a guy that deserves you
keyran143 10
Sometimes I accidentally press YDI while I'm scrolling and I'm like ahhhh no I didn't mean to do that...so it may have happened to those 14 people...who knows
Ninjerman 7
I do the same thing? However I fall under the "fat finger" category...I need a bigger phone
Angelastic_fml 18
Did anyone else read that as the person with the huge asshole finding a guy that deserves them? :o
MrAsquared100 14
@ #13 'jerk off her mind' accidental pun?
Chelserser 20
Better watch what he says or he'll have to get used to it. Hope he was joking though op! :)
xx000o 27
Tell him that the only reason you date him is that it's better than nothing.
gogo44444 28
Break up with him and say, "there's the new **** DVD's on your bed"
tw124331 13
@39 And the internet is free!
dannnngthatsux 19
Internet is free? Um, yeah.
tiffanyhillxoxo 4
@65 I'm sure she meant"**** on the internet is free"...which it is...more people on this forum spend their comments on correcting grammar and pointing out errors. Contribute to the actual convo yo!
TDKopecki 16
Ouch, that actually pretty ****** up. Sorry OP little boys giving guys bad names.
shaaza 16
Tell him to date **** actresses from now on.
tw124331 13
What's wrong with dating **** stars? Just because it's comprised of independent women/men making money off someone else's vices? Isn't that the basic business plan of every company in the entertainment industry? The **** industry is a safer place to find sex rather than picking people up in bars, or chat forums. And also, this is an industry where women can make more than the men. No glass ceiling in ****!
imerichello 18
Lets hope it was a joke op
Hildy93 21
Why do YOU date him then?
chinaski7628 32
Presumably because she liked or loved him and presumed he had many good qualities she was attracted to. Two years is a long time to stay with someone just for sex, especially if you're ambivalent about that person. That's kind of why it's an FML.
Hildy93 21
Hey thanks bud for explaining that. Really did a nice job. Overall good effort. Presumably good effort actually.
davincidasecond 24
That better had been an awful, stupid joke. Because unless it was, I hope for him, jerking off will have to be good enough forever. That's a shitty thing to say, especially to his girlfriend.
nitrog100 21
But OP says she "overheard" him saying it. He could easily be joking.
davincidasecond 24
You're right, I misread it. Hopefully it was nothing more than a joke.
rainbotato 14
Well, tell him it'll just have to be
The_Big_Boss 20
He's obviously kidding. No guy will put up with a girl for 2 years just for sex.... Unless he is incredibly desperate