Today, I asked my husband, of only a year, why we don't have sex anymore. He said it's because he masturbates. When I asked how often he did it, he replied "Every day that we don't have sex..." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML
Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML
Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML
Today, my husband won’t have sex with me anymore because he can’t be bothered. That’s been his excuse for almost three weeks, but he insists there’s nothing wrong, he just doesn’t want to. For reference, we had sex almost every day before this, so this is very abnormal behavior. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML
Today, my husband has lost over a hundred pounds. I'm happy for him, but now he has an incredibly high sex drive and keeps asking for sex almost every day, sometimes twice a day. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
denvan 0
He must have one strong hand shake
WallyTheWombat 0
So I'm not too sure how this is played out. If he masturbates every day that they don't have sex... is it that they don't have sex cause he masturbated? or that he masturbated because op won't have sex with him? If 1: 1) Try to get to him first. if 2: 2) Quit complaining and sleep with your husband!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (145)
jordzy 8
Answer to your problem: just have sex more often to keep him excited. Problem solved
ZombieKitteh 8
This is why you should never date or especially marry someone you're not physically attracted to. Call me shallow if you want but you ladies could have sex with anything just by laying on your back but us guys - physiologically speaking we kinda have to want it, and if we don't want it we can't fake it. No matter how good the other parts of the relationship are, it is doomed.
furubafan74 18
Women have to attracted to their partner, too, buddy. Otherwise they won't get turned on.
LarissaT18 18
If she had to ask why, then he's probably not trying. And that might make her think he's not interested in her.
Repethetic 25
tbh I don't understand how he is piece of shit for not wanting to have sex. I do it everyday, because sometimes its more relaxing and better to just please yourself then go to effort of trying to get someone else in the mood only for them to do a shitty job. YDI for not being the better option OP.