Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was sitting in the living room with my mother, my phone rang. She immediately exclaimed, "I'm not calling you! Why is it going off?" She was serious. My own mother doesn't believe people talk to me. FML
Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML
Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML
Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML
Today, I cleared out the messages in my voicemail. Of the 50+ messages, most were from my mother wanting to know when I'd be home. I'm 27. FML
Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML
Today, I got a call from my mom's new husband. It lasted 3 minutes and those 3 minutes were of him telling me how sad I make my mom for just existing, how jealous I make her because I'm living a life she wished she was. Turns out, she told him to call me and say that because I have her blocked. FML
Today, I called my mother to say hi. She spent a whole hour and a half complaining about how I never call her, bawling and calling me "a waste of human flesh." I call her at least once a week. FML
Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML
Today, I went on a date, and halfway through I started getting nonstop calls from “Mom” on my phone. Annoyed, I silenced them. Later, I checked my voicemail. It was actually my mom calling from the ER because she had slipped and broken her ankle. FML
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Top comments
3dollarbill 0
So did you leave a message or what?
Mirorbo 27
Such a lovely mother you have, darling...
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Comments (130)
3dollarbill 0
So did you leave a message or what?
manMadeFAIL 7
probably not
Bassmasterclassi 2
sounds like someone wasn't happy with their mothers day present.
rawrsofi 5
sounds like someone's mom is really loving.. Gotta love your family!
california283 6
"hello Joyce? .... Joyce?"
woahbro2slow 0
did it cross anyones mind that OP. probably gave Joyce a reason to say that??
VinegarStrokes 0
Get out of her life, bitch.
Mirorbo 27
Such a lovely mother you have, darling...
GeraldisTheG 3
omg pokemon colosseum! good game.
Xtra_Cheddar 3
that is a good game
Mirorbo 27
Oh, come on, darlings! Leave my fans alone!!
Xquisite1 28
Bad mother or daughter. Which is it?
duhh_winning 0
i dont believe this post one bit... shnanagin!
jenna_rae 0
u spelled bitch wrong.
Victoire_W 0
Both Edit: love the rainbow avatar
qasimahsan93 4
I don't know if you've consciously done anything to deserve that or not, but in any case, having your mother say something like that must hurt. :( Good luck with sorting this out.
randomguy1millon_fml 0
probably a prank
denvan 0
You should've left her a sweet message to make her feel bad, then turned it around and bam bitch move
Sweethearttt 0
I like your way of thinking!!
ambowew 7
Either your mother is a oversensitive bitch, or you seriously ****** up somewhere. Or both.
dcam13 19
lol i'd probably stop calling her...
Riddles66 0
O__O Sorry OP that sucks.
vyktor_fml 0
Your eyes are stunning.
Livinia 11
Your mum sounds like a mean bitch. FYL
nucky_fml 5
The mom just started taking steroids. So she's been having roid-rages, and taking it out on Sophie?