Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML
Today, I learned that being kicked in the vagina by your brat brother not only makes you vomit from the pain, it also makes you get a period an hour later so unbelievably more painful than usual, you're forced to use the real good painkillers left over from your dad's spine surgery. FML
Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. Five seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the Hacky Sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML
Today, at sparring, I got paired up with a girl, who said, "Don't go easy on me because I'm a girl!" Thirty seconds into the match, she was on the floor whimpering and crying. Now everyone is whispering and glaring at me. FML
Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Hamlin 5
Surprise kick him in the balls back
lachy15 15
He is an idiot. The fact that he thinks it's the penis that is the sensitive part backs that up. It's the testicles that are sensitive, and apparently the ****** is fairly similar.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (155)
Hamlin 5
Surprise kick him in the balls back
littlem91 29
And get a friend to record it for YouTube.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
And then give us all the link so we can watch.
Colin_XU 6
link+1
Pwuj 6
Ops name tag,. Hah
SpamPam 18
And then claim you didn't think it would hurt cause you didn't think he had a penis
phoneYuNOlisten 16
OP will surely deliver
KawaiiCupcake 14
Honestly... Don't your instructors teach you self discipline? Or your partner just really stupid?
crystalxa 35
I would kick him a nice junk punch! Then say oops, didn't think it would hurt since you have no penis.
lachy15 15
He is an idiot. The fact that he thinks it's the penis that is the sensitive part backs that up. It's the testicles that are sensitive, and apparently the ****** is fairly similar.
Grex_fml 9
Falcon punch the ****** in the scrotum.
sanngx 6
I thought striking below the belt was illegal?
MidnaLink 35
In a match, yes. In practise… do what ya gotta do.
ladytigerhunts 20
No, when we get kicked in the ******, basically we're getting a kick on our pelvis bone. And it's REALLY painful (not as painful as a kick to the testicles, but really painful), because our pelvis bones are the most flexible bone in our body as to accommodate the baby that we would carry. But it's also very sensitive.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
It's not just the hitting the pelvic bone. If a kick lands right then you get extreme pressure one your clit which has a ludicrous amount of nerve endings and that feels like a nightmare wrapped up in hell, wrapped in the worlds worst migraine.
TrueDragons 2
Girls do karate? Lol.
Olympiakos10 15
63 - Now you know what getting kicked in the balls feels like...
gracehi 33
Not mention, even if it weren't for the pelvic bone and the ********, it hurts when kick anybody anywhere. Only a complete moron would think that a woman's groin is somehow magically impervious to pain.
omg36 7
I have a friend who got kicked in the ****** so hard she threw up.
Maycontainnuts 17
I want to hear this story...
chosha_fml 27
#2 Did it occur to you that this might be OP's mistake? Chances are the man that kicked her is well aware that it's his balls that are most sensitive.
love_me_electric 20
Actually the ovaries are the equivalent of testicles in a woman, and they're deep inside the body so they're very hard to hit. The ****** is more like an inside out penis (You're welcome for the mental image).
emmydodgers 6
Actually, the equivalent of the penis in female genitalia is the clit, NOT the ******
cadillacgal79 32
I've gotten kicked in the ****** before but never enough to double over in pain, I believe it was 5th grade when my guy friend tried kicking me down there, he saw that I was blocking him, so being a smartass he said, "why are you blocking me, do you have a dick?" No you idiot, it hurts any body being kicked down there.
WaltzingPhanthom 23
I'm having breakfast - I lost my appetite...
inkdeath87 18
Kick his ass!
littlem91 29
*balls - it'll hurt more.
inkdeath87 18
Yeah. My mistake.
13ky13 20
*******, I hear that hurts.
LeeRed 15
Wax on, wax off
tjv3 10
Should have used "Sand the Floor"
TallMist 32
I'd rather paint the fence.
Bakarra 22
Amanda Bynes didn't seem to think it hurt to be hit there... (She's the man reference)
linneam 5
But she got a ball straight towards the area not from underneath and straight up
hayfayday 15
What happened to Amanda would still be really painful. There are bones in that area that hurt to be hit. The joys of Hollywood...
suboy 10
Whats happening to Amanda now is pretty painful. To watch that is.
davincidasecond 24
I was just thinking of that movie when I read this FML.
dancinwookie 21
Dear Men, When we get hit in the front it feels like when hit your funny bone. Being kicked directly in the ****** hurts worse than that, plus there's the added danger of you actually getting your foot stuck. There's no escaping an angry woman with your foot up her twat.
donkeykongo 7
YDI for not having a penis
Bakarra 22
Troll comment is troll
n4ture 20
#6, you are a moron
SlapAndTickle 20
*Holds up a sign* Please do NOT feed the trolls.
HortonThelephant 15
Yeah! You know, Because living in a world with just dicks and no ******* sounds like the world I want to live in....NOT
ApollosMyth 22
Getting kicked anywhere can hurt.. Some people don't think. Hope you feel better OP.
Bakarra 22
Ooooh right in the baby maker and she is down for the count! One...two...three...
v1kt4r 13
**** punt..
Abbbiiieeeeeeeee 16
Yikes! That hurts like a bitch, OP. like #1 said, surprise kick him back! Give him a taste of his own medicine.
jedster_999 6
Honey, it's the testicles, not the penis.
xStaciexLynnx 15
Honey, if you don't have a penis, you don't have testicles.
Iknoweverything 29
Honey, just because you want to sound like a grownup doesn't give you the right to go around calling people honey to make your irrelevant corrections sound less accusatory and more passive aggressive. Nobody likes it. Throat punching is not a worthy enough punishment.
doodlecloud 27
Plus OP was explaining her sparring partner's thoughts (and we already know he's an idiot), not expressing her own view. So yeah, reading comprehension much, honey?
Zimmington 21
Sweety, if you had a penis you would know it huts pretty bad to be hit there too. Especially when it slaps your testicles in the process.