Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML
Today, I learned that being kicked in the vagina by your brat brother not only makes you vomit from the pain, it also makes you get a period an hour later so unbelievably more painful than usual, you're forced to use the real good painkillers left over from your dad's spine surgery. FML
Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. Five seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the Hacky Sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML
Today, at sparring, I got paired up with a girl, who said, "Don't go easy on me because I'm a girl!" Thirty seconds into the match, she was on the floor whimpering and crying. Now everyone is whispering and glaring at me. FML
Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
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Top comments
Hamlin 5
Surprise kick him in the balls back
lachy15 15
He is an idiot. The fact that he thinks it's the penis that is the sensitive part backs that up. It's the testicles that are sensitive, and apparently the ****** is fairly similar.
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Comments (155)
mattyiscool123 26
Yes surprise kick him in the penis thinking that it wouldn't hurt
onorexveritas 24
oh man, I know first handedly that that shit is painful. that guy should let you have a go at him just for that
missmonkie 16
He's a dumb ass. You'll get a bruise there and it might hurt to pee
AngrySailor 17
Did he lose a shoe in there?
swedeNix 13
King geri is a pain no matter the gender...
Ellae_fml 7
kick him in the knee. he has no penis there, so it shouldn't hurt.
AngrySailor 17
You got kicked in the ninja slipper! By a ninja slipper!
jamnglamgirlie 17
I use to take TaeKwonDo lessons and the same thing happened too me. I was 5.
ViviMage 40
He kicked through your clothes and INTO the ****** cavity, totally missing the vulva around it? So you screwed his foot? Either your anatomy is wrong, you were naked, or his is very well aimed.
Synistiel 14
Again, as I've said to someone else, get off your ******* high horse. It is commonly accepted to use "******" to represent the female genitalia.
life_sucks225 13
A kick in the ****** does hurt but a kick in the balls is a lot worse
AngrySailor 17
You have empirically tested this theory?
aok0989 10
So you have both?
linneam 5
How do you know that? Seriously? Something guys just believe!
Synistiel 14
And I'm willing to bet you think getting hit in the balls hurts more than childbirth, too.