Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by vaulting over the side of a stairway rail parkour-style. Now I feel like I almost broke my legs, and judging by her hysterical laughter, she considers me more of a fool than a stud. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was trying to impress someone by doing pull-ups. I got halfway up, froze, and then slowly slipped down like a dying horse. It felt like the whole park had stopped to watch. I tried to laugh it off, but I’m pretty sure they’re still talking about it. FML
Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML
Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML
Today, I tried to impress a group of friends by jumping a set of stairs on my skateboard. I didn't realize the ceiling dropped down towards the bottom of the stairs and knocked myself out. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML
Today, I tried to show off my basketball skills to a cute girl at the park. I went up for a dunk and ended up getting stuck in the net, hanging upside down while everyone laughed at me. FML
Today, while watching a movie with my girlfriend, I had to go to the bathroom. As I returned, I thought it would be cute to jump over the side of the couch and land next to her. I accidentally landed on her arm and broke her wrist. It wasn't as cute as I expected. FML
Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend. There's a short cut to my house by jumping a fence but he insisted that we take the long way because, "Girls don't jump fences." To prove him wrong, I jumped the fence. I fell and broke my leg. FML
Today, to impress my friends, I attempted to do a back flip. The only one impressed was the doctor who set my broken leg. FML
Today, I tried to tackle my fear of heights by riding a rollercoaster. Once we were near the top, it malfunctioned, causing it to stop, and we all had to get out and climb back down. My girlfriend laughed at me for how scared I was. FML
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Top comments
xxmollyxx 25
Yes, if you had succeeded, you would've been quite the stud indeed.
kalgon 0
Making a woman laugh is the key to her kingdom.
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Comments (150)
xxmollyxx 25
Yes, if you had succeeded, you would've been quite the stud indeed.
CryMoreFMLs 15
I find anybody that does parkour to impress others deserves their fate. Just a personal opinion....
Goatinsfriend 8
If people tried to impress me, I would think they're automatic fools anyway.
InOthrWords 12
That almost rhymed.
GODert 8
You've got a pussy in your bowl.
grahambertus 11
PARKOUR PARKOUR!!
n_epic_fail 14
Some advice, if you don't KNOW parkour don't do parkour. YDI
leogirl95 12
Girls aren't impressed by that stuff... At least I'm not anyways.
AllThatHit 7
"I tried to impress my girlfriend by...". these things usually don't go well
Bekeliyr 10
#45 People have to start somewhere. When I started I still fell a lot. OP don't take it as a total loss. you still made her laugh and a story to tell...
skullcandifiedDJ 5
A STUD? More like a try hard wannabe.
BABYPUNCHINGGUY 0
Well OP you can all laugh at this later it could be a cute story you could both share between you.Or you can dwell on the fact that you have two snapped legs
ShortNotice113 5
On the bright side, you made her laugh! :)
Link5794 18
Parkouring to show off is not parkour, as it undermines the underlying principles.
babykillaseason 0
"Hardcore parkour!!!" like if you knew it was an office quote. :D
mpsteve137 15
That wasn't the smartest way to impress her. Try using a guitar?
MrBoredGuy 1
Or a piano... Chicks dig big hands
DrDilllonReese 12
Or workout and get some big muscles
hthelittleone 10
^yes
SoSickWithIt 14
...what happened to personality and charm? ...manners and intellect? ...Dammit, I was raised completely wrong if this is what works! :O
Captain_Zorro 7
64- Marry me?
nofearjenshere 12
14- True, I love a big pianist. (;
peachesncreem 21
#44 - all of that stuff still counts! You don't want a girl that only falls for you because of your muscles or because you can play guitar.. A woman wants someone who can make them laugh and have conversations with :)
desireev 18
Guys with big muscles can't walk past a mirror without flexing. I want a man who's more into me than he is in himself...
mpsteve137 15
Yea guitars are cool too
SoSickWithIt 14
I love my own reflection and the way my muscles look, but I wouldn't think EVERYone else does. Does that make me conceited or humble?
desireev 18
I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say you are humble. Lol ;)
sparkrok 8
If musical ability does it... I may be in luck! Ok, maybe I still should lose 50 pounds...
drlove78843 6
girls are kinda like banks when it comes to accepting a man. when you apply for a credit card at a bank they check your three credit scores and girls check three scores when they asked by men 1. wealth 2. looks 3. intellect . if you've a low score on one of them then sorry, you application won't be accepted.
PYLrulz 17
106 - For 1, if a woman goes by money, she's just a money grubbing hoe. Once that wallet is empty, it's onto the next fat wallet. For 2, unless you have something you can control, women who look for looks are sometimes shallow.
ohSNAPyall 27
Next time, try vaulting over a guitar. She'll swoon.
thisiscat 14
Charm makes us interested Intellect, personality, and politeness make us stay.
MCRaddict15 15
Sorry OP You shouldve just given her flowers!
missyj0 12
Because that's original.
MCRaddict15 15
Okay, we'll at least it isn't dangerous!
starman02 12
Here are some beautiful flowers that will die in 2-4 days. Impressed aren't ya?
thenomad 7
Personally, I like receiving Nokia phones. They last a lot longer than roses.
kalgon 0
Making a woman laugh is the key to her kingdom.
rubberduckie94 13
So true, I have always put humor high on my list. Life is something that hits you on the head hard. If you and your partner can not find humor in any situation you are sunk.
br0ccoli 15
I agree. There's nothing worse than a guy with no sense of humor. Humor is confidence. Confidence is sexy. Rawr.
TheNewGuy03 29
I'll chime in and say that a woman who has a pretty solid sense of humor can steal my heart. If having a conversation with you is as interesting as watching cells divide, then I will likely want to get away from you as fast as possible. |the kid|
ComTlancy 12
If humour is so great, then why does no one like my puns?
robbydoherty 0
How stupid are you?
KiddNYC1O 22
I'm sew stoopid.
lpboy03 0
About as stupid as that picture *slaps knee*
SoSickWithIt 14
Like a hispanic justin bieber? :D
iceman420son 7
Lol nice Hispanic justin biber XD
tandem123 6
71- repeating someone's joke make it lose its funny.
sweetliferg 3
Yea u should have had flowers in your hand while doin it!
dlohoh978 8
Wrong one lolol
gonad_gobbler 1
Don't go through all that trouble, apparently in this day and age all you have to do to get girls is act like a complete douchebag and be a jerk to everyone.
sayhey22 19
That's so not true. I wouldn't go near a guy who was like that!
writergirl23 19
What he means is the "bad boy" thing. I know, I don't get it either ...
KiddNYC1O 22
That's extra effective on gullible girls.
Theend2008 0
I thumbs up but i have to some what disagree from the fact that 1 in 1,000 girls that are pretty (LOL) don't prefer a douche bag of a boyfriend but most do.
sparkrok 8
Boy: Ya dropped your pocket. Girl: Oh, thank you! Now let's go take a ride in that Mustang your parents bought you ;)
chels1994 11
It's honestly sad how true this can be. I don't even understand women...
kingmario75 5
At least she's laughing. She could be taking your dumbass to the hospital.
memob123 0
I wonder if attempts to impress women ever succeed
tennisrapper1 14
Obviously, they never work on fml!
AllThatHit 7
I read up to impress and smh
br0ccoli 15
9 - guys should just say "hi, I saw you walk in and I think you're beautiful. Do you want to go out for coffee or a bite to eat sometime?". Practice in the mirror if you have to. Simple, sincere, and to the point. Single her out though. Don't do it in front of people. Don't want them to steal your moves or see your rejection if you're not her type.
RaquelW 7
105, you should probably attempt a conversation with a girl before launching into asking her out and calling her beautiful. It creates a lot of pressure and doesn't give her a chance to be very interested.
linkinpark98 24
Just a bouquet of flowers would have done the trick, OP! :)
DiscoRanger 0
That's original.
linkinpark98 24
Indeed it is. Originality at its best.