Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML
Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML
Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML
Today, I went to my dorm's community bathroom to do my business. After releasing the Kraken, as I was wiping, I accidentally let go of the toilet paper. Instead of the toilet, it hit the floor in the next stall. Someone was in there. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
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Top comments
JackDark 0
Your friend is a dick. You can't entirely blame the guy either, it was his natural instinct to check you were okay. Get a tin of chopped up carrots, put them in your mouth raw, run up to your friend and splurge them all over him. That'd be karma. And it looks like you threw up.
dawgzor 0
#1 Wtf do you think? If you got hitted in the balls you wouldn't just take your hands down there and say ouch. When you get hit in the balls or stomach you pull your body forward and then you lie down to ease the pain
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Comments (57)
Akraz 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
your life sucks but you deserved that. Why the hell would you lie on a college dorm bathroom floor? That's disgusting bro.
dawgzor 0
#1 Wtf do you think? If you got hitted in the balls you wouldn't just take your hands down there and say ouch. When you get hit in the balls or stomach you pull your body forward and then you lie down to ease the pain
ThatWasPathetic 0
#1, you're an idiot. Guess you've never been struck in the balls, eh? Tell someone to hit you there hard and see where you lie.
Pmm368 5
to #4: got hitted in the balls? That doesn't make sense...you mean "got hit in the balls" not hitted. You are right though...something is wrong with #1 to think the way they thought.
seanreddog 4
There was probably a reason he got hit in the balls and he sounds like a pussy anyway.
Lesbier 0
the thing is you have to have balls bigger than his probably are to actually hit them. Otherwise it will take 3 people-one to hold him down, another to get the legs and a thrid to search for said testicles.
jandrews10 0
I also see no reason to call them "Family Jewels." Unless of course we are in the 3rd grade.
Akraz 0
@#4 Really? He has to THROW himself on the ground?? you can easily squat and hold your stomach in and bend over without submerging your whole body on the floor as if youre throwing a temper tantrum, ****. ive been hit in the balls hard enough once to know what it feels like but whatver, i call fake
Mustardnight 3
Guys he put a little more thought in the way he wrote the fml. Give him a break, family jewels or nuts who the **** cares.
TimTebow 0
i think fml changes it, or they have to. balls comments always get changed to family jewels or happy sacks
Sunbolt 0
I think that everyone who gets hit in the balls withers on the floor like a pussy ad long as it's hard enough. for further refrance look at AFV
ZleveL 0
maybe he has *EXTREMLY* sensitive nuts. even a flick on the nuts for me is enough to lie down :( it's happened before
KataraTheBender 0
Have you even been it in the nuts before, I can barly hit them there and the will scream, and when I do it hard, wow you need earplugs. IT HURTS!!
JackDark 0
Your friend is a dick. You can't entirely blame the guy either, it was his natural instinct to check you were okay. Get a tin of chopped up carrots, put them in your mouth raw, run up to your friend and splurge them all over him. That'd be karma. And it looks like you threw up.
seanreddog 4
Taco.
jts2 3
.. wat me no speeky stoopeed, sry Though the MLIA comments usually are a bit lighter. Despite the fact that I tend to semi-troll there.
Boddmon 0
Yeah and I'm sure child birth is just such a delightful feeling too.
AcesAndEights 0
+1 for Boddmon
ohherrohorry 0
lol to #2 :)
evilducks 0
GO TO FRICKIN MLIA WAY BETTER U GUYS ALL SUCK
jts2 3
OMG YA I AGREE TTLY MAN FML SUX OGODD-- No, shut up.
iBlazer 0
Wow. Shut the **** up you stupid dike. I would punch you in your ovaries if I could.
laurengirl28 0
i already hate you
daydreamstar 7
great now along with boys getting worried about pissing off other males in college they now have to worry about being pissed on >>'' OP, im sorry to hear that, maybe you could take it up with the Dean or something... at least the guy cared to see if you were (relatively, considering the circumstances), if you were ok. right? :)
rawrrawrfishy 0
sorry but that is ******* hilarious
sissypants32 0
I would have probably helped u back up then hit u in the balls again lol.
ZleveL 0
D: that's not nice