Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML
Today, I learned that being kicked in the vagina by your brat brother not only makes you vomit from the pain, it also makes you get a period an hour later so unbelievably more painful than usual, you're forced to use the real good painkillers left over from your dad's spine surgery. FML
Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. Five seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the Hacky Sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML
Today, at sparring, I got paired up with a girl, who said, "Don't go easy on me because I'm a girl!" Thirty seconds into the match, she was on the floor whimpering and crying. Now everyone is whispering and glaring at me. FML
Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
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Top comments
Hamlin 5
Surprise kick him in the balls back
lachy15 15
He is an idiot. The fact that he thinks it's the penis that is the sensitive part backs that up. It's the testicles that are sensitive, and apparently the ****** is fairly similar.
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Comments (155)
DGED13 5
What next did he punch you in the breast not realizing they were similarly sesative?
mmcrae97 9
Your sparring partner is an ass
AngelApocalypse 12
Clam slam...
Jemm_fml 29
Has he never heard of a punt? !
jmcr 27
Kick him back in his vag that shit does hurt
rinoa_fml 10
So did he kick you in the vulva and clit or right up your ******? Because if you are using incorrect terminology for your own body, then tsk tsk.
Synistiel 14
Dude shut up. It's obvious that the term "******" is commonly accepted to represent the entire female genitalia. Get off your high horse.
Sir_Swaggington 6
Some people can be so stupid sometimes.
diaosi 4
A guy has gotta be a real pussy (no pun intended, really) to kick a girl in the ******.
deinemudda 5
but kicking guys in the balls is ok?
Selkhe 10
Oh my god... why do people pull this kind of argument all the time? NO, it is not okay, but were we talking about guys being kicked? No. we were talking about girls getting kicked. can we not make it about someone else?
Isa_fml 20
Couldn't we all agree that it's shitty to kick people, regardless of gender? Jesus.
Synistiel 14
60- ONLY for self defence. I'm sick of hearing people say that, when has it EVER been okay for any other reason?
cyberpimp 4
Aren't you supposed to wear a cup during a karate class
twinkiefeets 17
A female cup? I know their is protective gear for boxing but not karate. That would hinder your movement I imagine.
o0ginger0o 7
There's a female equivalent of a cup. It's called a female groin pad, or a female groin protector. Basically, it's a thick pad that has straps and a waist band.
BuckNekkid 22
lol great user name