Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML
Today, I learned that being kicked in the vagina by your brat brother not only makes you vomit from the pain, it also makes you get a period an hour later so unbelievably more painful than usual, you're forced to use the real good painkillers left over from your dad's spine surgery. FML
Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. Five seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the Hacky Sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML
Today, at sparring, I got paired up with a girl, who said, "Don't go easy on me because I'm a girl!" Thirty seconds into the match, she was on the floor whimpering and crying. Now everyone is whispering and glaring at me. FML
Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
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Top comments
Hamlin 5
Surprise kick him in the balls back
lachy15 15
He is an idiot. The fact that he thinks it's the penis that is the sensitive part backs that up. It's the testicles that are sensitive, and apparently the ****** is fairly similar.
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Comments (155)
cchino_o 8
That's why you always wear a cup lol
skyeyez9 25
A hard kick anywhere on your body is painful.
yeongji 31
That is when you kick him in the balls and act surprised that it made him double over in pain because you thought having a penis would not hurt. It sounds to me like he was just trolling you. Any hard force against anywhere will hurt.
mr_jack_meoff 5
Well in all fairness, those things can take a pounding and enjoy it, so you can't really blame the guy. Well you can , but it's a moot point now.
Synistiel 14
Do you not know the difference between intercourse and a full blown kick? I'm pretty damn sure that a kick is A LOT more powerful than a thrust.
minidrone_fml 11
Do you think you can make a Chuck Norris fact out of this ?
rogerover 19
He should kiss it and make it all better.
meherm 11
I know that shit hurts! A ******** did the same thing to me once and he had the same explanation! I hope you didn't bleed, take a cold bath or an ice pack helps!
Zimmington 21
That happened to me when I was seven. My sparring partner was a girl and kicked me in the nuts! Made me quit Karate for 3 years.
Synistiel 14
That's why you wear a cup and you should really be more dedicated, considering you quit because of an accident.
strike2867 13
You must always be aware of your surroundings... Also you must kick him there when he turns his back...
crabbattle 1
**** punt for the win!