Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML
Today, I was driving my new car home when I came around a sharp turn to see a groundhog in the road. I kindly stopped and allowed it to cross when all of the sudden a car slammed into the back of mine. Then, another car went flying around us. That car hit and killed the groundhog. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
Today, while driving with my three year-old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML
Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You weren't leaglely at fault, so don't crow about your problems here. You're pigeon-holing yourself as whiny. Swallow your pride, tell your husband that he doesn't rule the rooster - toucan play this game. If he won't play wren you fight back, call him chicken. From heron out, you can be on the offensive. If he throws something at you, duck. Owl bet this strategy will work. Good luck!
Zebidee 9
Funny how that pilot that hit some birds and crashed his plane into the Hudson River is a hero, but when you do it...
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Comments (204)
canadacat 0
The ydi is 666. :)
Koniszewski 1
Well he's an asshole
DarkJoy_fml 5
It sucks that you killed a bird. I hate killing animals. However, you really should have reacted differently. It sucks more for the people that got their cars totaled. Especially since insurance companies hold people who did the rear-ending (that sounds dirty hehe) more liable. So your life is not ****** their lives are.
Octwo 16
It is your fault. Learn how to handle a situation like that before you get behind the wheel of a 2 ton piece of metal and endanger everyone's lives. If your first reaction to a loud bang on your windshield is to make a sudden stop in the middle of the highway, you're not ready to drive.
CTVrhythmguitari 8
tango, you're an ass xD but you're a comical ass, so life is good.
SneakherHead 5
it is your fault, I would have kept driving normally and use my windshield wipers lol
4evermossin 0
well your husband is right you totaled 3 cars over a bird..... and you wonder why the stereotype is that men are better drivers
max93_fml 0
woman can't drive. typical.
oxAshleAxo 8
Hmm not even sure where to begin on this one...
Egnar 19
Well your husband is right - I get the shock of something flying into your windshield freaking you out, and, i might have been freaked out and done the same exact thing, but, it doesn't make it any less your fault.
Schiffy 18
Not according to the votes, it's not.
Egnar 19
The situation isn't deserved, it does suck - But the accident is still her fault. . .It's something that could have been avoided had she been a prepared and attentive driver. I'm not saying I wouldn't have made the same mistake, frankly I probably would have ended up in the same situation, so would a lot of us [even the ones saying "lol I'd keep driving". But, it's still her fault.