Today, while driving with my three year-old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML
Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I saw a Red Tailed Hawk land on my car and spend a few minutes looking at his reflection in the windshield. This was all really neat until I found out he badly scratched my hood with his large talons. FML
Today, as I was leaving Walmart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML
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Top comments
Xtra_Cheddar 3
angry birds anyone?
salvyluv 0
LOL ! more like **** the bird's life
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Comments (72)
athena3100 9
That sucks
JacksonCampbell 9
[insert dramatic, yet sad music here]
lmfao_shame 9
you have long fingers Jackson..
JacksonCampbell 9
If by "long fingers" you mean "long enough to cover the width of an Apple iPod 4, then yes, I have long fingers.
jellitonoctopus 19
those are some long fingers. good for playing the piano.
JacksonCampbell 9
What's with everyone and my fingers? They're really not all that long.
withgoldeneyes 5
maybe they just have short fingers..
GavinRoskamp 0
You have some crazy long fingers, bro...
yak526 0
doubt it, birds always have near misses:D
Jaykayfu 0
18 would love to get fingered by jackson
auzzrage 1
I once hit a bird, went to check on it and reversed over it again then was like o crap and went to drive off an hit it again and someone watched and thought I was doing it on purpose
Jesus_Christ69 0
combo breaker ? ^
kyanisaurus 0
if that's your real photo 32, I'm sure quite a few ladies (and some men?) are wishin you could plow them over a few times :D
brycereid 0
Poor bird
salvyluv 0
LOL ! more like **** the bird's life
adam123add 0
what life?
NomOnShroomz 14
Ah thanks for killing my breakfast for me!
PutItIn 8
the bird was obviously high
GuessWhatKids 13
Using your child to drive? Isn't that illegal?
mollyjynxjax 28
Or lack thereof...
Xtra_Cheddar 3
angry birds anyone?
Carpy 8
I'm glad she hit the red one. That stupid bird won't knock over shit! Where's my bomb bird?!!!
A7X_LoVeee 10
Dead* birds
atsirk 0
win.
YacL 15
Bet it was difficult explaining to her what the hell happened.
Alwayspullout 7
not really... "Sweety, we just smoked that bird, now it's dead."
skittles222 0
I also hit a cardinal but I was on my way back to college. I cried for a half hour in the car. It can be extremely traumatic, I'm so sorry for you and your kid :(
ImmortalKratos 0
lmao!!!
Carpy 8
Wow, um, oversensitive much?
similies06 0
some people love all living creatures and it hurts them to see one dead, or imagine they could have killed hem. it isn't oversensitive it is having a heart for the creatures that you SHARE the planet with, but I'm sire you don't care.
BigWiggly 0
I am "sire" you don't care that you spelled "sure" wrong.
chimcharx3 15
my dad hit a seagull and it exploded
imneverhigh8p 0
haha
borichick1 0
that's so messed up and gross
scarletdragonfly 5
Holy shit, dude! Now THAT's traumatizing.
chrisvilla 0
Ha! thats freakin hilarious
kittykat1501 31
Mowwow( that means hi or that's hilarious)
teamkakashi 18
I shouldn't be laughing so hard xD
XxMaseratiGurlxX 1
thats epic..
JokinglySerious 0
indubitably
fatalkiss 0
Ss...ouch. That's life: full of beauty & pain.
Livinia 11
Your daughter's probably mentally scarred mow.
Livinia 11
*now