Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML
Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, as I was talking to my girlfriend about how I need to find another job to be able to afford school next fall, I hit a deer causing about $3,000 in damages to my car. FML
Today, at 4:30 a.m., I hit a deer on the freeway on my way to work. I've only had this car for 6 months and it's totaled. I had to wait hours for a tow. On his way to pick me up, my husband's radiator blew and his serpentine belt shredded. I also missed a day of work. FML
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
Today, I bought a new car. Twenty-five minutes into driving it home, I hit a deer. FML
Today, the driver side mirror of my car was smashed off and laying on the ground. On the window was a $75.00 ticket for improper equipment for not having a mirror. FML
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Top comments
Beckleyy 15
What a ******* idiot...
grahambertus 11
What a flocking idiot
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Comments (97)
K4ytlyn 0
Good thing you married him! Sounds like a keeper! ;)
Discombobulated9 12
I think your husband needs a hobby :/
PussyPredator 6
What if that is his hobby?
a_purple_orange 4
Discombobulated- thread-jacking again? Did Doc not teach you a lesson the first time? You really are an attention-*****.
Palirose 22
Animal Abuse at its finest.
Beckleyy 15
What a ******* idiot...
grahambertus 11
What a flocking idiot
Cad6 24
^You copied #6
dan13mey 0
19 can't read^
TomHarrow 5
Actually 19, they posted at the same time. @8, nice one.
Cad6 24
@ #22, I meant he copied the other dude's pun. @#23, #6 means that he posted before #8. Counting numbers man.
TomHarrow 5
Looking at time man. Just because they are #8 doesn't mean they were able to read #6 first. Especially when posted at the same time. Just saying.
grahambertus 11
Count the numbers on the time posted
Calyx_fml 22
Actually, OP is the ******* idiot because she is ******* the idiot.
yuggi1 11
It's the OP's husband who's the idiot. Vultures are big, what the heck was he think?
ColdplaySucks 18
Did yuo konw yuo olny raed the frist and lsat lteters of wrods?
rulingtomax 0
FYL indeed but he Deserves it
UsernameUnknown 7
KONY 2012 watch it!!!
tellithowitis 13
Your money is his money now...
tellithowitis 13
Your money is his money now...
br0ccoli 15
You know what he really deserves?? It's this point where you handcuff him to the bed and use his penis as a ring toss pole to fling your newly fried donuts on. This doesn't make sense? Well neither does plowing through a bunch of scavenging birds eating a rotting carcass.
Riya2595 15
You married him, remember what's yours is mine. Unlucky though!
zaff97 9
You should make him pay for it.
mpj13 8
That flocking sucks
SnowWhite32 3
You should make your husband replace it!!!! It was his crazy idea to do it !!
failgamer 7
Cut off your supply of sex to him
iggz 0
Uhhhhh okay.
cetlawizard 15
No, he used your car and damaged resulted while he was driving, so technically & legally...HE HAS TO PAY TO REPLACE IT! Tell that jerk to ask a cop or lawyer if he doesn't think so....free mirror for you!
TheGewt 7
They're married. He probably would anyways.
desireev 18
When two people get married, they each take in eachothers money, as well as their debt. So no, he wouldn't have to pay for it 'by law'.
DKjazz 20
Do vultures eat dead vultures?
TheDrifter 24
Actually, no. That's one of the few things they won't eat.
DKjazz 20
Huh. Interesting, "Honor the Dead" even among scavengers.