Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, I was told by my wife that we were going to be parents. We are both females. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of four years. She took the opportunity to tell me that she's pregnant. With my half-brother. FML
Classic Dave
Today, after years of trying, I got the wonderful news that my husband is going to be a father. Too bad I’m not the mother. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML
Hi uncle, I'm dad
Today, I found out I'm an uncle. Normally this would be great news, except I have spent the last 8 years thinking I was her father. FML
Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I got the official word my wife is pregnant. Her sister, who lives with us, is also pregnant. I'm stuck in an apartment with two women due in late 2012. FML
Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML
Top comments
PeopleRSoDumb 0
If you play your cards right, instead of a birth you could have two funerals.
gingersnapper 0
YDI for marrying your sister!
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Comments (229)
say_vvhat 0
neonokku 0
How did you find out it was your brother's?
theluckygirl28 8
You wrote this beautifully OP!! You're life sucks though... Divorce your wife and keep the kid :)
White667 0
Yeah man, I really love how this was worded. And totally leave her, and bitchslap your brother to death.
heyhoe_fml 0
why the **** would he want to keep someone else's kid??
Sunnytweet79 0
Kill the parents and keep the kid !! lol jk but FYL
CyclonePsycho 1
Too late to kill them now. It would be premeditated.
EvaMarrie 0
congrats 2 u and ur wife/sister j/k but really dude that sucks i am sry u deserve better
aoife123 0
yeah, you wrote this really well! but FYL OP. that's ridiculous... I hope you aren't still with her :/
AlesanaLTL 0
lol *** the shit outa ur wife
hockey_66 0
leave the cheating *****
rockon4life 2
who said it was HIS brother and not HERS lol
grayfox31 0
I love to creep on girls.
CH723 0
73- OP has no right to keep the kid if it is not his and he divorces her. his wife may be having it but it does not make it his child in any way. Fyl OP, you probably deserve better than that.
DenBriZel 31
203- because if it was HER brother, he wouldn't be an uncle.
LyricaSilvan 30
I'm guessing you must also be against adoption, then, #130.
thegr8dane 0
fyl indeed. yikes!
GrimGothicAngel 0
yikes is right simple solution though never get in a relationship...you always get hurt in the end T_T
Scurydawarrior 0
Well not always and dude I would sleep with her best friend or her sister and say pay backs a bitch ain't it or just sit at home and play WoW all day
hobo_lowbo 0
you only get hurt in the end if you take it in the end
ImmortalKratos 0
sleep with her sister and mom at the same time then maybe MAYBE you can call it even. should still leave her tho.
PeopleRSoDumb 0
If you play your cards right, instead of a birth you could have two funerals.
null_fml 11
Or better yet, three! Think of the efficiency!
inconvienentgurl 0
Its not the baby's fault his mother is slutty enough to cheat on her husband after 7 years of marraige w/ the brother. Its on the girl and the brother for betraying him SOO dont kill the girl until the baby is born and raise him as your own :) FYL OP...harsh way to find out!
Seldon_fml 0
Why in the world would he want to raise a child that isn't his? That's like the worst of both worlds. "Yes, I've divorced my wife, and I'm also raising the child of her infidelity". I'd rather take a swift kick in the balls than raise my wife's bastard child
a1s 3
Well if the guy *is* infertile, raising a child that has 1/4 of his genes is better than some adopted Chinese baby. Biologically speaking at least...
SirensMelody 0
To #124: what are you implying when you say 'raising a child that has 1/4 of his genes is better than SOME ADOPTED CHINESE BABY.'? To OP: This indeed is a FYL.
drawmesunshine 17
To #151 regarding #124: I'm fairly certain the point behind that comment is that it's better to raise a child that is shares only 1/4 your DNA than a child that is completely genetically different. The 'Chinese baby' remark was most likely a jab at the trendy foreign adoptees. The likelyhood that it was meant to be racist against Chinese babies is slim, so stop being so melodramatic and sensitive. To OP: That's an ultra bummer. ):
NarwhalLove 0
I get the joke but why in the world would you ever consider killing a baby or abortion it's ur wides shed take care of it the kid never got to live y you can put it up for adoption if u don't want it but imagine if ur parents were stupid and got pregnant didn't want u and aboteded (abortion) you huh well y kill an innocent child for your/ her own stupid mistake
freerun4life97 0
What the hell do you just write? How old are you?
megapeyt 17
I second #208, did you get drunk, high, stoned, all at the same time, blind fold yourself, and then type? Damn dude!
kmaikell 0
Ooh, that's rough.
mubaki 18
presumably sterile and newly single? that's terrible
jimmyironic 9
great for the life of a bachelor though
soiree_fml 0
what's first? killing your brother or divorcing your wife?
zelly05 0
omg dat suxx
ExplodingToaster 6
There's a button for that.
Feverrotes 15
Man that is indeed f***ed up. Get it on with your wife's mom, that'll show her what's up.
bobbillee 0
ditto!
accidentprone3 4
Or sister....
gingersnapper 0
YDI for marrying your sister!
DumbStruck79 0
LOL!
waterynuggets 0
ROFL but yeah, that sucks, OP
morningwoody 0
LOL never have thought of that
a1s 3
yeah I though he married his sister who then cheated on him too. There's a nice padded cell somewhere waiting for me probably... 8)
ILIEKGIRLS 5
it's not incest, it's WINcest
Starfire22 5
:D I didn't think of it like this either... Lmao!
tikimuppet 11
That's what I thought too, I mean we are all assuming otherwise, he could be doin his sister =P
corme_fml 0
That's the first thing I thought of...
heyxiitsxdru 0
wtf? he didn't marry his sister idiot his wife cheated on him with his brother.
dalsegno 0
That's what I thought at first!
tessie98love 0
idiot. he diddnt marry his sis, his wife got it on with his brother. gawd.
cubsgirl9 0
you're actually insanely stupid.
asinforasin 1
Wincest!!!
shawn916 0
That's sucks she slept with your brother. Hope your not her brother
discoguru 0
You are*