Mr Boise, United States 37 years-old
Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML
Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was a map of the USA color coded by regional percentage of available men. FML
Today, I was in an elevator with my brother and a woman. He signs to me that she has a "damn fine ass." I chuckle and then shake my head. He shrugs. A second later the woman signs to us, 'Rick, don't you remember me?' Turns out she helped teach my brother sign language when he was six. FML
Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML
Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone fell silent as my dad began to pray for our meal. FML
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
