Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, I went to TGI Friday's with my crush. At the end of our meal, the waitress gave us mints with the bill. He said something that made me laugh, and I began choking on my mint. After a few coughs, I finally managed to get it out. It hit him in the forehead and landed in his drink. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML
Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML
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Top comments
ImaginaryFoe 1
I would've laughed, too. It's ice. It melted and you had no problems but an over-reaction. What did you expect him to do after the fact?
aback 5
WTF did you do to get his attention? Wave? Clear your throat politely? Send a text message? Smack the shit out of the sucker, or just lie down and die like a dainty little wimp.
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Comments (80)
ImaginaryFoe 1
I would've laughed, too. It's ice. It melted and you had no problems but an over-reaction. What did you expect him to do after the fact?
silversparkles4 5
i don't know, I hate it when even ice eta stuck in my throught... it is creepy.
silversparkles4 5
*I *get *It Dang Itouch. And dang anti-flood protection!
thesunsetglow_fml 8
*Throat. Missed one ;)
ImaginaryFoe 1
I don't like it either but I don't get pissy if someone laughs after I tell them something that already happened and didn't cause any damage. Sometimes you have to laugh along and shake it off. It really is an awful feeling and I would've voted FYL for that but the flood of "my bf waah, waah, waah" FMLs might've made me just a tad bitter.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Maybe she did die, Triumvirate. There's just not enough information to go on.
LisaBanana 0
At least it wasn't his you know what!;)
StinkyBallSack 0
totally pyruvated
IHATERI 0
his what?
Ran3 0
haha spongebob did that
ifailplzinsultme 0
They make guns for a reason
Zmeilerr 22
And knives
CitrusGirl 0
And jails...
ifailplzinsultme 0
23-that's for people who don't kill correctly
dodgewama 0
29 - Win
thesunsetglow_fml 8
Wouldn't you just drink more water or whatever you were drinking to melt the ice cube? Whatever you were drinking is warmer than the ice... and if you were REALLY choking, then why didn't you start banging on the table or something to get his attention?
ihavenosoul 4
Hey guys, lets ask questions that can't do anything to change whats already happened!
CabbageTrees 13
Hey guys, let's post a retarded, pointless comment obviously overlooking the fact that the previous comment was in hindsight.
fallcakes 0
LOL
aback 5
WTF did you do to get his attention? Wave? Clear your throat politely? Send a text message? Smack the shit out of the sucker, or just lie down and die like a dainty little wimp.
ell_oh_ell 0
wow so if a piece gets stuck in ur throat it still able to survive until it melts!!
Rei_Ayanami 18
Well, I'm going to say you derserve it for not using a straw in a public restaurant, do you have any idea how many people use those cups? You also wouldn't swallow icecubes so easily with a straw.
Chinnithy 0
Yeah, suck it!
doink 0
I'm assuming you bring your own silverware and plates whenever you go out to eat? Or does the "OMG DIRTY PEOPLEZ ATE HERE!!1" only apply to the cups they drink out of?
Rei_Ayanami 18
Actually Doink, I tend to avoid eating in public locations in general I prefer to do it at home where I know what's been done to my food.
Sickasstrickflip 0
I don't understand this either.
License2Sell 0
I'm sure it seemed scary to you, but everyone is right about it being ice. Its 'almost impossible' that you would have actually choked to death or anything serious besides a short panic attack.
mintcar 10
Foursquare > you. I really don't understand the concept of Foursquare. You post your location and then what....?
ifailplzinsultme 0
15- then you get raped
CherryBombb 0
A large man can stalk you. It's quite entertaining.