Today, I got the official word my wife is pregnant. Her sister, who lives with us, is also pregnant. I'm stuck in an apartment with two women due in late 2012. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was told by my wife that we were going to be parents. We are both females. FML
Today, my sister-in-law announced that she’s pregnant. With my kid. And the doctor thinks it might be twins. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. The problem is that I don't know how to tell my wife... Who is also pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML
Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, my sister announced her pregnancy at my husband's funeral. FML
Today, I announced my first pregnancy to my family. Not to be outdone, my sister immediately announced that she "might" be getting pregnant soon. My family ended up congratulating her instead, and asked me if I would plan the baby shower. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, I found out that my sister is going to spend the last two months of her pregnancy in my house to be with my mother. She's bringing her three wild children with her. The visit also happens to coincide with my end of year examinations in May and June. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
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Top comments
StoryOfTheYear 15
The Mayans were right!
ilikeemsmall 4
Dude, you are in for a horrible time! Those 2 are going to be a mess of man hating hormones before long. I wish you luck and congrats on your new baby :)
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Comments (196)
abewho21 3
Bring on the double late night cravings, sicknesses, and the mood swings. Good luck and congrats on the new baby
ScaughtieHolden 11
Pray for the Mayan calendar to be true.
raNDMGUy 5
That'd be worse because then he goes through all that crap just to die after the babies are born D:
Torva_fml 16
I just hope they're not both his.... I guess 49 beat me to it... As I was typing it, oh well... Haha.
ilikeemsmall 4
Dude, you are in for a horrible time! Those 2 are going to be a mess of man hating hormones before long. I wish you luck and congrats on your new baby :)
thisisafunnyname 12
yeah congrays. but hopefully theyre not both yours.
rexgar2000 10
the wrath of the pregnant women are going to destroy you man. But hey as longest you have ice cream as your secret weapon you'll be fine
Sebastian_NG 17
It could be worse, at least he's not the guy who lives with 4 different women who get their periods at different times
reaganomics 6
Now your def going to need a man cave to hide in for 9 months
bitchslapped22 14
I agree with 62, get the **** out of there!
Akai_fml 4
YDI, Shoulda wrapped it up.
Trololololololo_fml 7
Huh. So I guess the world IS gonna end in 2012. :D
i_amthe_walrus 0
Not all women become crazy when they are pregnant. I am a very eccentric person so I thought when I became pregnant I would be the worst of them all, but I was the opposite. Honestly I think my husband liked me better when I was pregnant lol. I hope both women are like that in your situation OP. Good luck!!
AliCat18 12
90# what if they were trying for a baby!?!
jomo111 5
Yeah, you should by smoke bombs to make a momentary getta way.
abbey321 8
I remember when my mom was pregnant with my younger sisters. She was having twins and I took the last waffle and she yelled I'm eating for four now!! While throwing the syrup at me.
abbey321 8
I meant three sorry!
honeyluv0218 4
87If she is having twins she would be eating for 3 not 4
Akai_fml 4
@ #108 If he was trying for a baby, then he wouldn't be complaining that he succeeded.
okiidokii_fml 6
65- OMG like on sister wives!
StoryOfTheYear 15
The Mayans were right!
Fruit_Dealer 9
"I remember the world before the tragedy son.. The trees were green, the sky was blue.. But then two women, at the same second, gave birth. The high iron rate combined with a quick change in the polarity of the Earth made the newborns collide with uncanny force. The cataclysm that followed was deadly.."
z620 0
Aw #3 beat me to it
mle015 0
Ya the mayans calendar ended on December 21 so if they are pregnant that long something is defiantly wrong
xGraycloud 4
*definitely :)
mxpklx 12
They will give birth to the Antichrists!!!!
asselhoff 5
"The world, as we know it, will soon come to an end."
jacobs_double 0
am I the only one who considers august to not be "late 2012"?
Jonkbaby 23
tell her its you or your wife
UrLyfSuxx 0
What ?
ItsYourMamaDoe 0
I think he's trying to say both of them cannot live the house and one of them has to go.
chocol8m 6
Ur an ass.
imustbeinsane 2
Congrats on your baby, but you're in for an explosive 9 months. The hadron collider's got nothing on your apartment
CalCommando 6
Ya done son.
eb0ny 15
I wonder how he's going.
juwood 7
Hey man...hey...it might not be as bad as you're anticipating. They might cancel each other out.
marmlr339 14
How can they "cancel each other out?"
Androidz 0
I think he means punching each other in the stomach.
cosmosis 12
Hmmm one pregnant woman plus one pregnant woman equals two pregnant women... Hmmm im not following your logic there son. Does not make the slightest bit of sense Anywho, congrats and goodluck for the future op:)
DocBastard 40
It's called sarcasm. Look it up - S-A-R-C-A-S-M. It's a way of conveying...hello? Am I getting through here? Hello?
elmski87 0
It's called talking bollocks.
simsimma88 0
It was probably a joke... Lol
DontForgetMe4 0
Awe Man... Good luck. That's all I can say. I hope they don't kill you.
VaanBasch 1
I see where this is going. Are you pregnant too? Sorry if I spoiled the big twist in this story for everyone.
rulezdunmatter 12
You sure you're not responsible for both pregnancies?
perdix 31
Or neither?
rulezdunmatter 12
Or maybe for the wife's sister's but not the wife. Regardless, his life is going to be one tough ride.
perdix 31
He could end up biologically responsible for neither and financially responsible for both. Top that!
xosportsgirl14x 8
He could be punched in the face by a gorilla.
perdix 31
Nice try, but rather than paying for college for two kids, I'd rather take and gorilla punch and I'll raise you a donkey punch.
mirag 0
Maybe it's one of those polygamous families
perdix 31
#42, I doubt it. If they were polygamists, having two of the wives pregnant would be good news, not an FML. Sounds like a fun lifestyle, though.
stuner56 22
#27, I'll raise your donkey punch & raise a falcon punch
jobsman99 0
Hopefully you are not the father to both
rulezdunmatter 12
Same as my comment hahas.
BehindU 5
What does hahas mean?
DevilGirl66 15
I'm pretty sure he writing "haha" but added an s by accident
BehindU 5
Sorry, sometimes I can't help being a nazi.
PlasticSand 6
The plural form of "haha", duh!