Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML
Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML
Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML
Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I finally had a day off in two weeks and I was excited about getting to sleep in. At 5 a.m., my mom loudly knocked and came in. When I asked her what she wanted, she said she was checking to see if I was asleep. FML
Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML
Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML
Today, I wanted to do something nice for my mom. So, while she was sleeping, I cleaned the whole house for her and even made her breakfast. A few minutes later, she came downstairs and yelled at me to keep it down because she was trying to sleep. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You should yell whatever the hell you want at her. Get it all off your chest about what an insensitive bitch she is being and how she should leave you the **** alone. If she tries to punish you for it, tell her you were just sleep talking. It's foolproof!
ali671 1
She sounds like a bitch.
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Comments (136)
CheesecakeTaco 3
Hfinwjwnrudhnwlqmejdidn hdiensi nebsjnd hahaha :D
ali671 1
She sounds like a bitch.
HowAreYouToday 34
Parents are all bitches. Some of them just hide it better than others
CheesecakeTaco 3
Yep, OP should have said "let's see you get a job with a 12 hour shift, you lazy orange flavored mother ******!"
SqueakyChipmunk 22
She's an Oompa Lumpa. It's to be expected.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
#25 It was a Ray William Johnson reference… You orange flavored mother ******!
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
Well she does pay her mothers bills, Gorrammit! Her mother should realize that just because you take naps doesn't mean you are lazy.
redmane 21
Sorry 15. My parents were always cool and hardly ever bitchy while raising me. Not all parents are bitches.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
I'd call her a bitch right in front of her ****!!
_wraith 15
Parents are people. You get the good, bad and ugly with them, just like everyone else. They aren't perfect so stop expecting them to be. That being said... yeah, you're mom sounds like she belongs in the "bitch" category, OP. Sorry 'bout that.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
88) Ni! Not in front of the ****!
Polly452 2
I don't see how your mom can really think you can last that long when you worked a 12-hour shift! She need to think.
Quinn32 16
Some people stay awake for more than 12 hours at a time...
PlaidPanda 9
21- Go get a job, work a twelve hour shift, then you'll realize staying awake, and working are two completely different things.
chatoyant_fml 12
#21 most people are pretty tired just after an eight-hour shift.
Polly452 2
I know that most do, but working 12 hours sucks. When you need to sleep, you crash
Polly452 2
#56 Im not retarted. I do know the difference. I have a job and working the 10-hours that I do sucks and when I get home, I just want to sleep.
peve3 12
93, 56 was replying to 21. She wasn't bashing you or anything.
ali094king 4
Hey Polly nice picture lmao
DocBastard 40
You should yell whatever the hell you want at her. Get it all off your chest about what an insensitive bitch she is being and how she should leave you the **** alone. If she tries to punish you for it, tell her you were just sleep talking. It's foolproof!
reallytho3 11
That's just crazy enough to work...
ajeppsen 25
Mr. Bastard you are to ******* awesome. And op tell her to work a twelve hour shift. And when she comes home and and relaxes yell at her for being lazy.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Doc- how would you feel about a 12 hour shift?
Snackycake 20
#86, well if he's a doctor he probably already works 12 hour shifts.
PYLrulz 17
I'd give it a shot. Doctors orders
TourettesGuyFTW 26
My God. When you have to spell it out to some people it does get boring. My point was also that he's a doctor, and probably used to much longer shifts, say 30-40 hours, or more? And SO a 12 shift might be considered a blessing to some people.
Trisha_aus 15
From my knowledge (watching scrubs) doctors work for a long time
capslockisgood 19
118 No one works a forty hour shift.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
121- many doctors work 40 hour shifts. Maybe not in your country, but they do.
Vaporify 4
Tell her you were on a 12 hour shift, you deserve some rest.
Erniedoee 2
12 hour shift? Get a house man! Problem Solved!
Dblocker 18
What part of 12 hour shift did you not get?
capslockisgood 19
OPs' name is "IPayYourBillsGorramit" implying that OP's mother lives with OP.
earljonez 22
yeah 12 hour shifts are nuts. I just got off of work rightnow and I'm tired as hell
DocBastard 40
Try doing 24. I've even done a 48 hour shift on trauma call once. I felt like a drunk zombie.
the_anti_hipster 7
Note to self: when at hospital, make sure doctor isn't on the back end of a 48 hour shift to avoid having a drunk zombie poke me with needles.
firemedic841 11
My scheduled shifts are 24 hours. I only work 2 days a week which is nice. I'm on a 32 hour shift now. I've done longer but it's no fun and I actually left early because I didn't feel I could do the job safely.
andrew87804 4
#12 i like ur picture lol
PYLrulz 17
In my opinion, there ain't much difference once you go past 8 hours (I do 10 hour shifts where I work at, sometimes 12), but going 24 or 48 hours?!? That's just plain nuts!
zandalee 20
This is how you know it is time to be an adult, leave home and get your own place. Share a house with others. It's not that expensive if done correctly.
Collisionn 11
OP could still be a teen in high school... My boyfriend's mother is very similar to OP's mom.
nickownes1 3
Lol. I love the username on this fml.
blair_x 12
Stop paying her bills. She'll definitely appreciate you more then.