Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML
Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML
Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML
Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I finally had a day off in two weeks and I was excited about getting to sleep in. At 5 a.m., my mom loudly knocked and came in. When I asked her what she wanted, she said she was checking to see if I was asleep. FML
Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML
Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML
Today, I wanted to do something nice for my mom. So, while she was sleeping, I cleaned the whole house for her and even made her breakfast. A few minutes later, she came downstairs and yelled at me to keep it down because she was trying to sleep. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You should yell whatever the hell you want at her. Get it all off your chest about what an insensitive bitch she is being and how she should leave you the **** alone. If she tries to punish you for it, tell her you were just sleep talking. It's foolproof!
ali671 1
She sounds like a bitch.
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Comments (136)
CheesecakeTaco 3
That's an excuse women make so often... But if you think about it. A guy that has not masturbated or had sex for years. He has carried that person for those many years. So "ive carried you for 9 months" is officially invalid from now on. Nuf said.
john443 5
Harsh mom. Try to tell her how hard you are working? But I guess that wouldn't work...
MisterFML123 1
Come on Mom! Let me sleep!
LadySigyn 17
Oh OP, I know how you feel, I work full time hours at minimum wage and it isnt enough to make rent still, with taxes. My sister harps on me about not doing enough and honestly, it drives me crazy because Im doing what I can do try and make money. I hope your mother realizes you're doing what you can to get by and leaves you to some well deserved sleep!
OhDearBetrayal 25
I would just like to let you know that upon reading this comment, you made my future look on college life even more terrifying. Any doubts I had about money making have only intensified now.
zandalee 20
It's a bloody hard world out here. Totally sucks how much it costs just to live these days!! Somedays I actually long for simpler times.
jjmiller1001 17
Just think, after 11 years I college you might get that 100K a year job! ;)
jenniiienyc 5
Lovely mom you got there, OP. FYL. "Fake sleeping." After age 7, who even fake sleeps? If you're old enough to work a twelve hour shift, you're old enough to love sleep and not "fake it." Come on, crazy mom!
DocBastard 40
Cheesecake taco - Are you really THAT stupid? Guys carries hundreds of millions sperms at any given time in their tiny testicles (very tiny in your case, I'm sure), but women ACTUALLY CARRY the baby for 40 weeks. Then they have to give birt... Wait, why the **** do I need to even explain this?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"For god's sake, mom, SHUT UP!"
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Because you're a doctor, and doctors have to explain things to people--stupid people too--on a daily basis.
the_true_batman 10
I hate when people say you're faking things. And I hate parents that mooch off their kids. If you have kids, you're expected to raise them. Your kids have no obligation to take care of you, and if they are taking care of you, you should be thankful, instead of bitching at them.
efrainelboricua 12
Sounds like my mom. I pay all the bills yet she complains about how much I work and my work ethics. ( read op user name if you don't understand)