Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML
Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML
Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML
Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I finally had a day off in two weeks and I was excited about getting to sleep in. At 5 a.m., my mom loudly knocked and came in. When I asked her what she wanted, she said she was checking to see if I was asleep. FML
Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML
Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML
Today, I wanted to do something nice for my mom. So, while she was sleeping, I cleaned the whole house for her and even made her breakfast. A few minutes later, she came downstairs and yelled at me to keep it down because she was trying to sleep. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You should yell whatever the hell you want at her. Get it all off your chest about what an insensitive bitch she is being and how she should leave you the **** alone. If she tries to punish you for it, tell her you were just sleep talking. It's foolproof!
ali671 1
She sounds like a bitch.
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Comments (136)
sniperkit 10
Birth scares me. Why? Squeezing a baby out of a lemon-sized orifice has got to be painful, and definitely more painful than the swift kick to the balls which 55 is about to receive. Prepare your testicles.
isamisis 9
What a bitch. I'd ask what she has done for the last 12 hours!
matthewiverson 7
Story of my life
jjmiller1001 17
Oh my a twelve hour shift..... What an effin' baby!
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yes, 12 hours of working nonstop can tire anyone out. I'm guessing you never worked a day in your life.
HRBINGER0fdeath 3
Sounds like my mom.
dog1999 2
Time to smack a biyotch
emh86 14
Omg! That sucks! Ew and I'd hate 12 hour shifts, I can barely handle 8 hours :s I really hope they pay you well!
livelovemusic22 3
I've gotten that from my mom. And I have insomnia. Worse part is, she knows it. -.-
_wraith 15
#55 How hard does the kick have to be? As I understand it, a mere flick in the balls can bring excruciating pain to a man. And the whole birthing process? Yeah, that sucks, and that's if there is no complications. I knew of someone who had to have her uterus moved to line up with the birth canal. I became a doctor's puppet after my son. Believe me - birth is not always a cut and paste procedure. That being said, I really, really hate it when mothers fall back on that argument. It's a pathetic defense and ridiculous to be throwing in the face of offspring.
mrivera 6
You should shut of the cable and internet if you have then. Tell her you can't afford it. Then see if she gets a 12 hr job to pay for them.