Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML
Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML
Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML
Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I finally had a day off in two weeks and I was excited about getting to sleep in. At 5 a.m., my mom loudly knocked and came in. When I asked her what she wanted, she said she was checking to see if I was asleep. FML
Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML
Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML
Today, I wanted to do something nice for my mom. So, while she was sleeping, I cleaned the whole house for her and even made her breakfast. A few minutes later, she came downstairs and yelled at me to keep it down because she was trying to sleep. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
You should yell whatever the hell you want at her. Get it all off your chest about what an insensitive bitch she is being and how she should leave you the **** alone. If she tries to punish you for it, tell her you were just sleep talking. It's foolproof!
ali671 1
She sounds like a bitch.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (136)
CheesecakeTaco 3
Docbastard, if talking bad about my privates (which clearly you've never seen) makes you feel better about yourself. Then go for it. What ever makes you feel better, man. And no shit they carry that many. I knew that. So? We carry that many. It's the same thing. Just microscopic .
TADspace 30
Is she even aware you have a job?
marramrammar 2
Your nice- I wld blast back and tell her to call your job to validate. Then say you owe an apology - it will catch her off guard and you will never have that happen again.
doby199 6
No u don't want a crazy person calling ur job trust me I have my own crazy mom.
mastodon33metal 7
Wake her up in the middle of the night and do the exact same thing. **** probably deserves a wake up call, anyway.
zandalee 20
Do you call your Mother that? For the love of God!
DocBastard 40
Cheesecake - The tiny balls thing was a joke. Get over it. But calling you a moron isn't a joke. The sperm we carry is tiny and weighs almost nothing. Women carry a 3-4 kg baby. How is that not clear to you?
miz_kamakazi 11
Cheesetaco, it's NOT anywhere near being the same. Why don't we strap you down and open up your pee hole to 10 cm, over 13-15 hours and see if it's a walk in the park? Challenge?
afropuffjake 9
My dad did the same shit with me in high school, even with juggling classes and working with pops after school, on weekends, and during summer. Momma got sick of it, kicked his ass out. Now I have two jobs, and my mom has fulfilled my dad's position of making sure I'm getting called out for not doing stuff around the house. Parents just do that op. it sucks when it does, but hey there's always the door right?
doby199 6
I feel your pain. I was trying to buy a house working two jobs and going to school my mom didn't feel I was doing enough. Some ppl you have to take what they say and let it go in one ear and out the other or at least lock it in a box for later but def. stand up for yourself just choose your battles sleep is worthwhile tho
MrHotShot22 6
At which point you slapped her right?
twye 22
Even if OP's mom was being that way, I don't think they would slap her! Better to walk away than physically hurt your mom..
Livestrong14 7
She needs to be more observant.