Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML
Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML
Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML
Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I finally had a day off in two weeks and I was excited about getting to sleep in. At 5 a.m., my mom loudly knocked and came in. When I asked her what she wanted, she said she was checking to see if I was asleep. FML
Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML
Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML
Today, I wanted to do something nice for my mom. So, while she was sleeping, I cleaned the whole house for her and even made her breakfast. A few minutes later, she came downstairs and yelled at me to keep it down because she was trying to sleep. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You should yell whatever the hell you want at her. Get it all off your chest about what an insensitive bitch she is being and how she should leave you the **** alone. If she tries to punish you for it, tell her you were just sleep talking. It's foolproof!
ali671 1
She sounds like a bitch.
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Comments (136)
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
#59 somewhere along the lines of their argument she said that there's no pain worse than giving birth. I just wanted to throw out some stuff.
ganjaone 2
Move out then..problem solved. Or shut up
CrazyBells420 2
That sux, liek mah lipz.
glittercookies 12
CheesecakeTaco: first of all, it's not possible for a man to "carry" the sperm longer than a female carries a baby. Why? Because sperm that is not ejaculated is reabsorbed into the body and filtered out within a couple of days. Then new sperm is made.
buck33 14
Doc - I am impressed you understood cheesecake tacos original comment. It took me a bit longer because it was so poorly written.
FMLKitten 15
CheesecakeTaco— Go ahead and try pushing a baby outta that penis hole of yours and tell me how great it feels.
IsThisMyName 0
I love how everyone is assuming OP lives at home. If OP pays the bills which their names points out that they do. Then who's to say that her bitch of a mother doesn't live with her? My grandmother lives with my parents in their home and it's safe to say she thinks she's queen bee when she just lives there.. So don't go assuming that OP doesn't own or rent the house she is living in and her mom needed some where to stay.
aznbabeelicious 5
This sounds exactly like my husband everyday. I need to be a super woman to live up to him.
zandalee 20
Then stop. You don't need to be a super woman. You should both be equal in your relationship right from the start. Start as you mean to go on or you will regret it. Don't be a slave. No one gives you a medal when you are tired and old before your time.
mrivera 6
I know how you feel.
stej1985 3
docbastard is right... 12 hours is nothing more than a wake up call. doctors regularly have 18, hour shifts. so do support techs on call. worst shift I had was 72hours on site. LOTS of coffee.
BlueEyes9812 5
Way to be an ass! Just cause a dr has an 18 hr shift doesn't make the op's 12hr any less hard...
redmane 21
55- The birthing process lasts longer than the pain of a kick in the balls. Kick in the balls = a couple, maybe 10-15 minutes of pain. Natural cervical dilation and vaginal birth itself can last for hours and hours on end. Think of your asshole being stretched slowly to let out something about the size of a medium-large sized football for 5-12 hours, in some cases even more. My mother was in labor with my brother for 18 hours because his foot got caught on something. She did not receive any numbing pain blocks. Obviously, you haven't seen a woman in labor. If there's science to back it up, can you give us the links to the journals?