Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML
Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML
Today, after discovering my grown-up kids have sent poop pictures to each other since they were teenagers, I had an epic poop that looked like a question mark. So I finally lowered myself to their level and sent a picture of it to them. It got sent to my boss by accident. FML
Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML
Today, I got an email from a colleague with a picture in it of shit on the toilet seat. The email said, "Not pointing fingers but I left you out of the last email." I pee a lot and so I use the toilet a lot. I think everyone at work thinks it was me. FML
Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML
Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML
Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML
Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML
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Top comments
SCREAM4meeee 0
well, have you?
ceilingfans 1
Take that as a challenge. Im sure if you eat enough fruity pebbles your shit will turn rainbow.
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Comments (143)
Glitterhinoceros 14
That's not attractive.
DoubleA329 1
That's a good thing. NOTHING coming from your mom should be attractive.
turkishjew 0
No but it's kinky
turkishjew 0
No but it's kinky
thinkingatheist 8
Green Is The Color!
rexgar2000 10
sounds like a cool mom. I wish my mom sent me funny shit like that when I was deployed.
saIty 17
New WMD: Throwing neon poo at the enemy.
LadyLexi 0
Tell your mom to stop eating glowsticks..
Bonkers4 0
xD
zingline89 18
At least she sent it via email instead of a care package
LadyLexi 0
I would have thrown the care package at the enemy.
CVeNgineer 0
Interesting.....
mistersheezy 7
Sounds delicious
every1luvsboners 11
Your moms bung-hole is considered a weapon of mass destruction.
untoldfame 3
** Ass destruction
McLongDong 4
And I thought my mom was weird...
cuppycakeslove 20
Sharing is caring :)