Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML
Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML
Today, after discovering my grown-up kids have sent poop pictures to each other since they were teenagers, I had an epic poop that looked like a question mark. So I finally lowered myself to their level and sent a picture of it to them. It got sent to my boss by accident. FML
Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML
Today, I got an email from a colleague with a picture in it of shit on the toilet seat. The email said, "Not pointing fingers but I left you out of the last email." I pee a lot and so I use the toilet a lot. I think everyone at work thinks it was me. FML
Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML
Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML
Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML
Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML
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Top comments
SCREAM4meeee 0
well, have you?
ceilingfans 1
Take that as a challenge. Im sure if you eat enough fruity pebbles your shit will turn rainbow.
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Comments (143)
Amy28_fml 0
did u not flush before leaving? lol
andrea1122 0
That's just so. Ugh. Im sorry they haven't kept up contact but thank you for serving our country!
viciouspanda 0
Better than nothin, right? :D
viciouspanda 0
Better than nothin, right? :D
KrazyLove54 0
nice mom you have ???
stoneywoney 3
And why isn't your profile pic this?
kristina1124 3
well it's awesome ur mom has a great sense of humor atleasthehe. and thanks for serving hun :)
allknowingbrony 5
What a shitty text and a crappy way to finally hear from your family.
clumsy1allday 2
happens to me after two bottles of blue Gatorade. looks cool lmao. PS.. I love ur mom for that
jesse22493 0
Don't get how that's an FML moment, not many people can say they've seen neon poo.