Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML
Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML
Today, after discovering my grown-up kids have sent poop pictures to each other since they were teenagers, I had an epic poop that looked like a question mark. So I finally lowered myself to their level and sent a picture of it to them. It got sent to my boss by accident. FML
Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML
Today, I got an email from a colleague with a picture in it of shit on the toilet seat. The email said, "Not pointing fingers but I left you out of the last email." I pee a lot and so I use the toilet a lot. I think everyone at work thinks it was me. FML
Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML
Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML
Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML
Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML
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Top comments
SCREAM4meeee 0
well, have you?
ceilingfans 1
Take that as a challenge. Im sure if you eat enough fruity pebbles your shit will turn rainbow.
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Comments (143)
that_nerdy_sock 3
Sharing is a good thing depending on what you share :)
ikickgingers 15
Well bitches really love it...
ndhin831 2
Nothing like neon poo to combat home sickness.
Istalkrexgar2000_fml 0
What a bitch. I gladly emailed, called, and anything else I could do to keep in touch when my husband deployed.
hoonyer 17
biochemical warfare at its finest
juturnaamo 29
My guess is she hadn't written because she couldn't think of anything to say...so she thought of something and went with it.
juturnaamo 29
Why do I get negative votes whenever I say something pro mom? Here's a tip: if your mom never allowed you to be sexually or physically abused, and fed you every day, you have a good mom.
pichan_fml 11
Even people's waste is going high-tech these days lol
Ironripster 0
so much talk about poo makes me wanna drop some neon poo in my shower
winnn_fml 0
Neon poo is amazing. At least your mom can produce one, I dont think my mom can
missy232 0
4months to where you couldn't email/call/skype your family either? I know it's hard when deployed. And neon shit, must be nice to have super powers! Haha. Support to our troops!:)) God bless.