Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML
Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML
Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, I found out my little sister took a picture of me taking a shit and showed it to her friends. FML
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Top comments
Helloilike_lacro 8
You, like a shit, just needed to get out of her
MURIKKA 11
Ah, asshole relatives... Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em.
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Comments (128)
VorpikeII 17
Ouch. That sucks. Your mother must reapply love you. Sorry OP.
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Glad my mom doesn't reapply love me.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
23) you look ******* delicious. *CHOMP*
simmer333 0
He is an apple...
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Red Delicious are the best apples around. Not pink lady.
anythingmustbe 18
38 Yes and? Apples are tasty as **** bro
anythingmustbe 18
Its to remind her no matter how constipated she is it will never be as bad as giving birth
featherygoose 9
Pooping is like giving birth for men.
innavoiG 9
Maybe she was implying the sight of OP relaxed her. I for one feel pretty relieved after taking a shit.
ByronJess 17
38... There was no mention of apples... The word is reAPPLY... As in, maybe you can apply this new knowledge to future communications.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
83- #38 was referring to the comment that #31 made about eating the user with an apple picture. 38 didn't really get the joke I suppose.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
:-( but they are!
sleet7 4
So 83 tries SO hard to be smart and bitch someone out thinking "Awww ya im going to tell this kid off and get so many upvotes". But is completely oblivious to the fact that she is about to make a fool of herself because she has no idea what's going on. I find that hilarious.
xii_clueless 0
Awhh, at least she thinks of you
Popcornography 10
Yeah, not that great to be thought of in that way :/
Dunvanation 4
I don't give a shit this fml isn't bad. The mother was probably just making a rude joke.
tacojauns 45
I thought it was funny
ryry013 6
Extreme example, but if I wanted to kill you, wouldn't I be thinking of you too?
Popcornography 10
Ah well, OP. Shit happens.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
Sigh* here comes all the shitty puns...
Popcornography 10
D: I've been reading comments for long enough now to know that sort of pun would get me buried. My most humble apologies. *bows*
SqueakyChipmunk 22
... Mmm, popcorn. *noms on 3*
Popcornography 10
Eww, leave me alone you drug-addicted chipmunk :(
SqueakyChipmunk 22
What bitch? *noms more* :P
swankmrpancake 8
What a crappy way to die, having your face eaten off by a chipmunk high on bath salts.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
IM NOT HIGH ON BATH SALTS.
swankmrpancake 8
Ahhhh don't eat my face!!!!!!!
sens3sfailing 25
I'll eat all of you bitches! I'm a rich ass raptor!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Bitch please. I'm a poor ass chipmunk.
Inediblepeaches 15
This has to be the funniest thing I've ever read on FML.....
thatKidzmOm 10
Squeaky...you must really have the munchies. First the apple then the popcorn. Wanna share?!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
NO. **** NO. ... Unless you haz some nuts. And not the perverted kind. :L
thrAsHeRr9081 16
I shit you not, you're my favorite turd.
teresee 8
Ooh that's nasty.
irishboii957 2
Read that in cleveland browns voice :p
kittytub 12
I read it in that one lady's voice from that lemonade song. :c the one with the horse and the universe.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Look at my horse. My horse is amazing. Give it a lick...
False_Stupidity 42
I read it in my voice... 'cause i've only got one :(
Axelo 11
I wish I had mom like yours....
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
You want a mom that thinks of shit whenever she sees you?
queentexan 8
Hey Axelo your cute lol. ;D
Helloilike_lacro 8
You, like a shit, just needed to get out of her
tandem123 6
Congratulations, you have the first non down-voted comment on this FML!
krylonpony 3
Brace yourselves, more poop related fmls will lead to shitty situation puns.
DracoSpirita 21
At least you know she'll never have any bowel issues.
sadiebean 3
First of all... Love this pic so true and also hahaha
MURIKKA 11
Ah, asshole relatives... Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Well you could kill them, that is if you don't mind lethal injections or a life time of sodomy. By the way I love your profile name haha.
restl3ss 6
Your reply kind of killed the joke, no offense
sens3sfailing 25
SssssssssssssSSSSS *BOOM* Damn it, not again...
MURIKKA 11
47- Thanks
Dunvanation 4
Unlike all the other assholes we kill daily...
superhumangambit 4
Lol you're equivalent to a laxative.