Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML
Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML
Today, after discovering my grown-up kids have sent poop pictures to each other since they were teenagers, I had an epic poop that looked like a question mark. So I finally lowered myself to their level and sent a picture of it to them. It got sent to my boss by accident. FML
Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML
Today, I got an email from a colleague with a picture in it of shit on the toilet seat. The email said, "Not pointing fingers but I left you out of the last email." I pee a lot and so I use the toilet a lot. I think everyone at work thinks it was me. FML
Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML
Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML
Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML
Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML
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Top comments
SCREAM4meeee 0
well, have you?
ceilingfans 1
Take that as a challenge. Im sure if you eat enough fruity pebbles your shit will turn rainbow.
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Comments (143)
perdix 31
She should have discreetly pushed it down the shower drain with her big toe.
icic6772 0
Stay safe out there.
bankrupt 15
^Yes!
ihearteminem 0
At least you know she is ok.
missy232 0
Jerk. Yeah I've seen his user name. Despite who/what you respect, do you know what it takes to be a Soldier, They've probably done alot more in life than you have. I have lots of family that are in/were in the military. Go rant some more on someone else reply. We all have our opinions. and that was mine on what she said. Suck on that! ;)
divine69 0
In the navy...
najiiboo 10
Never open a picture message without reading the text first...
_words_of_wisdom 4
why are most of the comments focusing on the crap? the point is that he hadnt seen or talked to his family for a while and the only form of communication was through this green crap. ya man that sucks
panderluver 0
Ask her if it glows in the dark.
MeMareeh 0
OP, don't want to say nothing negative, she's your mom. SO,on that note I'm just going to say Thank you for all that you signed up to do. Much Respect and where ever your travels take you be safe. PEACE
starry71 0
Thank you for your courage in serving our great country! Your sacrifice will never go unnoticed. God bless!!