Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Iowa Park, United States
Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML
anonymous
Calgary, Canada
Today, my boyfriend and I were downtown when he pointed to a girl and said he wished I dressed more like she did. She was obviously a hooker. FML
pst
South Africa 🌶️ Spicy
We need a break
Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML
Pugsley
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, for my birthday, I found out I'm too ugly even for a hooker to have sex with me. FML
Anonymous
Lemont, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML
Xena
Soliciting
Today, I was at our hotel waiting for my husband to finish his shower so we could have our anniversary dinner, when hotel security forcefully removed me from the building because they do not allow "prostitutes" to look for clients on their property. They thought I was a hooker. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Sex work is real work
Today, I just found out my best friend is a hooker. I just thought she worked nights and had terrible taste in clothes. FML
UnicornPancake
Today, I had to dress like a diva for a drama performance and my friend said I looked like a hooker. Then someone said, “If hookers looked like that, they wouldn't get any money." FML
Anonymous
Vietnam
Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML
Top comments
hailphire130 0
Give her some more money then. Bitches love money.
FMLollie 7
The way this FML is written it's so formal can you imagine how he would go up to her! "Excuse me miss, I would like to purchase your services in sexual pleasure."
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Comments (284)
iampetard 0
Dude dont **** hookers thats nasty
maskedman 9
OP, maybe you should stop messing with ****** and start off with crackwhores. Then work your way up.
bawlerr75 9
Like that's wayy better ....... Lol
littlestmOnster_fml 1
You deserve it because you don't have standards for yoursself
CrimsonViolets 11
A ***** that has standards? Wow, that's ironic.
muchagente 5
probably higher standards than me and the lot of us, who even sell their brain cells and thoughts, instead of just the body
alexFYL 11
Well that's silly and backward, don't you think? If you have to pay someone in order to sleep with them, they must either have higher standards or are much better than the rest of us. People only sleep with me for free. :(
leadman1989 16
Find Ke$ha. She has no standards.
Ins0mau 20
No. She kicks them to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger. And we all know he's hot, right?
leadman1989 16
All you need is a Mick Jagger mask. Some used toilet paper, dried pine needles, and the scent of grave yard soil and BOOM you're Mick Jagger. :p
8sq 13
Try a hand full of lube next time.
8sq 13
Agreed.
avi1981 0
Still wanna know what custom...
leadman1989 16
Moving up in the world aren't we?
tateh22 1
She's the one whoreing haha