Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML
A tale as old as time
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML
Stud
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams, unfortunately she called me by my ex-bestfriend's name. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Single and ready to Pringle
Today, I realized that the guy I lost my virginity to only slept with me for a bet. He confessed and apologized. He truly looked like he regretted it, so I forgave him and we hooked up again. Turns out this was a bet too. The worst part? I would do it again, because I'm really that lonely. FML
Top comments
sanuxo_ 22
That's just sad.
flufee2 27
That should have been a clear sign that it wasn't the right time to lose it...
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Comments (126)
sanuxo_ 22
That's just sad.
devildog562 33
And yet people are voting for your life sucks. No the hooker you paid sucks and you deserve op. Every dollar of it .
Noelletakumi 36
I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to say YDI, buddy. I know it seems rough when you gotta wait for that sort of thing, but wouldn't it have been so much nicer if it were with someone you truly loved?
michaelaranda 28
I didnt lose my virginity to someone i loved, and most guys i know decided not to wait for the right person. That being said, I regretted losing my virginity, even though she was a hot college girl (i was still in hs). I still wish i had mine. Im pretty sure op, you will regret this way more than you can even imagine. And that sucks.
metalscales 13
mission accomplished!!His goal was to get laid not to save his virginity for some sentimental reason to make him warm and fuzzy inside later in life.fyl for having to pay/beg for it
adrian1910 15
Ain't no one got time for love, gotta live life by the second. But never with hookers, that's just degrading and sad.
Zebediabolical 45
There's nothing wrong with hiring a pro. They're like bartenders. They'll listen to anything you say. And some of them are pretty damned good at it. That said, t's a little crazy to hire one of the street. You never really know what you're getting until it's too late.
mikepzz 27
I'm more worried about what's getting into you when you hire em off the street.
Stazza11 27
#1 is correct and if I were you I would be getting checked for every known STI under the sun.
ShenaniganNinja 20
There's a sad reality that some people may never get that. Sometimes they've been cursed with bad looks, or a disability. Sometimes they're just so awful with women that they never get anywhere when it comes to talking with them. Honestly I feel for OP. FYL OP.
Eek74 11
You're assuming that "Losing your viriginity with somebody you truly love" is an available option for most males. This is a misunderstanding of the male condition. (There's some complicated reasons why this is so - but you can start getting some feeling for this by thinking about "How attractive do I find truly desperate, clumsy guys?")
flufee2 27
That should have been a clear sign that it wasn't the right time to lose it...
stellamahone 4
wow OP I really hope she was attractive. I'd give it up for money too if it was a lot. more like FHL.
DarksideDoll 31
I think your moral compass needs tuning.
ChristianH39 30
I think she needs to head to wherever they sell moral compasses
Texasblackboots 16
That's just wrong bro
Rainhawk94 27
Doesn't matter, had sex
angeluv_2014 22
one of the few times when this phrase is appropriate
RussRuss 7
It extremely matters
larlar9800 17
she put a bag on my head
countryb_cth 38
Still counts
Crofty92 17
I cried the whole time.
Zebediabolical 45
...and that just made it hotter!
Meanmommy02 11
Hahaha doesn't matter, had sex!!!!!!!
danthehuman 29
I bet you're glad it won't happen again, eh?
sionis 3
Focus on books and college! With the time you'll save for additional studies since you won't have a social life you'll get your PhD more quickly; then you can just buy women
AH1Zviper 15
Where the hell does it say that he's in college?
MrSassypants 34
"you can just buy women"....... How the.... what the.... why do those thoughts even go through your head?
devildog562 33
Fairly simply if you head to the north side . Across the street bam . Not saying it's right but it's pretty damn obvious .
angeluv_2014 22
because gold diggers really do exist
Kotoza 9
Mail order bride?
siggy_mcsigx 22
found the misogynist
ShadowlessSpear 21
Don't be like that, what if OP wants to buy men too ?
marcranger 29
Tenure-track positions are really hard to come by, so if OP gets a Ph.D., he'll most likely be stuck with crap-paying adjunct jobs. The only way he'd get any tail is if he picked up some doe-eyed freshman girl who didn't know any better, and then he'd get fired for violating the school's code of conduct. I'd say OP should just sign up for online dating!
fly_panda 4
a female lacking a social life could do the same thing. and 'buying a woman' doesn't imply looking down on women, all men and women have a cost...so, not mysogyny
Tritanx 12
I agree
njgohard 16
Baby steps.
JJ_86 22
Why was this comment this down voted? If this guy realized that losing the virginity to a hooker is a worthy FML, he is on the road to find the real thing.
therealjc_fml 14
Well I bet that was clearly worth it. Now off to the clinic who may be taking your next payments.
siniclehamster 16
I'll probably never loose my viginity as I'm very shy but I'd rather be a virgin than a one hit wonder with mushrooms going on my junk. That would for sure decreases my ability to attract a significant other.
GeneralDerp 5
At least you only paid by the minute.
alex_gen 39
Now you can start on the path of living your life with HIV. Good luck.
mangelon86 15
You're a moron