Pugsley
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, for my birthday, I found out I'm too ugly even for a hooker to have sex with me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML
Oops
Anchorage, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while celebrating my birthday, my friends hired a few escorts to make the party more interesting. This was a really bad way to learn that my sister is a prostitute. FML
Anonymous
Iowa Park, United States
Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML
your_uglyness
That's their goal
Today, I’m so ugly, I had to pay for more likes on Tinder because I ran out of them. FML
Wii
Lower your expectations
Today, I'm 36 and I got told the reason I've never been on a date is because everyone I've asked on a date is too pretty for me and that I needed to look for ugly women. FML
Anonymous
Federal Way, United States
No uggos
Today, I walked into work and overheard three of my female coworkers talking and laughing about how ugly my face is, and how they’re sorry for whoever has to marry me. They went on to name the coworkers they actually would sleep with. I’m 25 and I've still never had a girlfriend. Thanks for the self-esteem boost. FML
mo
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML
ThatGuy24
🌶️ Spicy
Booming economy!
Today, it's my birthday and it would be a great day if me and my wife weren’t literally too poor to celebrate it. To make it even better, she won’t have birthday sex with me, because we live with her mom and she’s afraid of her hearing us. FML
Anonymous
Lemont, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I found out I'm being evicted from my apartment on my birthday. FML
Top comments
rotflqtms_ 21
Hookers are people too.
Cat Michele Davila 3
How small is your penis?Maybe you have bad BO and bad breath. You don't need to get laid and catch herpes for your birthday buying hookers in a van down by the river.
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Comments (11)
rotflqtms_ 21
Hookers are people too.
RichardPencil 32
You didn't offer her enough money.
Ashamed_Sister 60
You have to ask for a hooker with low standards.
Cat Michele Davila 3
How small is your penis?Maybe you have bad BO and bad breath. You don't need to get laid and catch herpes for your birthday buying hookers in a van down by the river.
RichardPencil 32
I don't think hookers mind small penises. Less wear and tear on the ol' moneymaker.
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
Hookers aren't free you know ... even if its your birthday
VJ_1015333503 6
feel your pain man
Laurea Lindroos 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well, paying for raping someone isn’t exactly helping you. How about starting by viewing women as actual people and not just holes to stick your penis in?
SevieCookie 14
Ok, do not throw the word "rape" around like that. I'm sure professional prostitutes would take offence to that for one, and two you devalue what the word means. Rape is a serious thing and casually saying it like that for something not considered rape, is not ok. Prostitutes get to choose their customers, and it is a business transaction to which they consent to. If the prostitute was one which was being pimped out and forced to have sex with every man willing, then that changes the situation. We know this woman was not being forced as she refused the poster. True, women are people, not just something for guys to stick a dick in. But in general sex is fun for both parties and your offence at the post in this regard is astounding. The guy wanted to pay for sex, that's his own choice. Doesn't make him a bad person.
Major_Haywire 7
That’s what paper bags were invented for