Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Iowa Park, United States
Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML
anonymous
Calgary, Canada
Today, my boyfriend and I were downtown when he pointed to a girl and said he wished I dressed more like she did. She was obviously a hooker. FML
pst
South Africa 🌶️ Spicy
We need a break
Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML
Pugsley
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, for my birthday, I found out I'm too ugly even for a hooker to have sex with me. FML
Anonymous
Lemont, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML
Xena
Soliciting
Today, I was at our hotel waiting for my husband to finish his shower so we could have our anniversary dinner, when hotel security forcefully removed me from the building because they do not allow "prostitutes" to look for clients on their property. They thought I was a hooker. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Sex work is real work
Today, I just found out my best friend is a hooker. I just thought she worked nights and had terrible taste in clothes. FML
UnicornPancake
Today, I had to dress like a diva for a drama performance and my friend said I looked like a hooker. Then someone said, “If hookers looked like that, they wouldn't get any money." FML
Anonymous
Vietnam
Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML
Top comments
hailphire130 0
Give her some more money then. Bitches love money.
FMLollie 7
The way this FML is written it's so formal can you imagine how he would go up to her! "Excuse me miss, I would like to purchase your services in sexual pleasure."
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Comments (284)
MissRoxiie 12
Find a girl friend and get it for free.... If your that desperate to get laid
maskedman 9
How the hell is he going to get it for free if he can't even get it with money? Do you understand women at all?
70klicks 1
are you suggesting rape ?
MissRoxiie 12
No all im saying is that he should have a relationship instead of buying sex
simplylost643 0
12, I really don't think your suggesting that having a girlfriend is free, are you? Movies, dinner, gifts, trips, etc., don't pay for themselves you know. From a fiscally responsible standpoint, a hooker is by far the cheaper option of the two.
Amrel 10
If you think its so easy let me hang out with my wang out and you jam out with your clam out, its gonna be magical
hillsidehorror 5
random question but.. can u message over fml??
ImmortalRiot 1
Will you do the honors?
Tarak_fml 7
Awesome Harold and Kumar reference :D
ccovey 2
You are a complete idiot.
JeffreyLH 5
Poptarts are poison. But I agree, try having a relationship with someone. There's plenty of people in this world. You will find a match sooner or later.
ariona91 0
I totally agree.... Meaningful relationships are always better than meaningless sex...
Music_Is_Life101 0
Tell her it's ok, because the smell of fish turns you off.
WCARlover 35
^win:)
DeadxManxWalking 27
Fish lips
Babalu722 3
yikes
RakaI 8
Google "iPhone backgrounds" on images et voila.
Babalu722 3
Google twister, asshole
RakaI 8
Not the same.
MeeshaMeeshaPup 8
that's what you get for trying to get with a hooker.
AOC1995 11
YDI for trying to buy sex
leadman1989 16
You dumb idiot for buy food.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Buying***... moron.
BelleBelle_fml 11
#43-WTF is your point?!
SeaMen 3
Maybe you can help him out
BrianAlarcon 0
Have you ever been close to getting laid?
dave04045 1
he doesn't even know what ****** looks like
BrianAlarcon 0
Haha ikr!
a_lenzmeier 11
That sucks. Find a different hooker.
abdullahfive 8
ok! genius :o
TalkinSmack 6
What's ur custom?
WCARlover 35
Just be thankful you dodged a bullet there. You wouldn't want her diseases anyway