Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the size of a man's penis is not proportional to his height. He was insecure because he's 5'6" and assumed everyone taller had a bigger penis than him. He's 30. FML
Today, my new boyfriend asked to know the penis size of every other guy I’ve been with. There are a lot. FML
Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML
Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML
Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
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Top comments
notjustanybody20 9
i wonder too. i like your sense of humour!
whitekid1497 7
It doesn't matter how big a girl's penis is, if she had a penis of any size I would be intimidated
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Comments (145)
grannygruber 6
Sounds like they're jealous, oh well! YDI tho, seriously, that kind of joke is for later, the guy was obviously trying to hit on you!
spazz666 18
... If he didn't like the joke now why would he like it later? It's best she knows that the guy has no sense of humor now rather than later don't you think?
Trix_Disorder 20
I think they mean later on in the relationship.
grannygruber 6
Exactly!
superguppy19 3
That would scare me if you told me that and think you were trying to be a bitch
ALpein 0
How is talking about her fake dick being a bitch?
Moobug 4
Fake willy = bitchiness now? No wonder I'm not down with the kids...
cass210 7
Jools (I assume this is your name), that is the best way to respond to that damn question. You deserve a medal. He clearly wasn't right for you anyway if he couldn't handle your response.
stevenmx86 8
Ydi you weirdo
SkoomaKi 28
I find weird girls attractive so up yours pal. Never judge a girl because she's weird - they're normally the most fun and bubbly people you'll ever meet!
KunoKanashimi 3
It's not weird. It's called having a sense of humor.
therealslim 15
#16 is clearly intimidated by OP's large penis.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Dude I'd date any woman who said that to me... But I'm female and don't care about shit like that. I care a person makes me laugh and stuff like that makes me laugh. A sense of humor is one of the best traits a person can have. You'll find someone op :)
lukep135 6
Because hearing that you just have a penis is alright, but once guys find out its huge thats when things start getting awkward
20th_century_fox 3
you're still single because you haven't met anyone with a freaking sense of humor yet! just keep being yourself, and you'll meet someone who loves you for who you really are.
Enslaved 38
.....penis and all!
loserman67 36
Great sense of humor! Great way to answer that question and break the ice. But remember, men are plagued with "penis envy" so you are probbaly hitting a nerve. But you sound like a fun chick!
toxicpinkcandy 10
I think you're witty & funny. If a guy cant see that, not worth your time. C'mon- if i was a guy i'd date the crap outta you!
jquiggy89 3
That sounded sexual...
Argumental_Rhino 8
I think it was hehe
tannercobb25 1
I would have laughd my ass off