Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the size of a man's penis is not proportional to his height. He was insecure because he's 5'6" and assumed everyone taller had a bigger penis than him. He's 30. FML
Today, my new boyfriend asked to know the penis size of every other guy I’ve been with. There are a lot. FML
Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML
Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML
Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
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Top comments
notjustanybody20 9
i wonder too. i like your sense of humour!
whitekid1497 7
It doesn't matter how big a girl's penis is, if she had a penis of any size I would be intimidated
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Comments (145)
caleb2196 4
so your gay?
NothingsEasy 4
Oh well shit happens I do crazy stuff in my life to
eyecon502 13
Love it!
asherm 15
Lol, I like the sense of humor! If people don't like it then they wouldn't be fun to hang with anyway
israelnotjacob 20
I feel for someone who's single since I was for about the first 22 years of my life, but in your case you clearly answered the question without even realizing it. Sounds like that guy may have even been a little interested in you but was nervous to admit it. He's definitely not interested now.
zeks 1
THANK GOD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO SAYS IT! FYL AHAHAH
writergirl23 19
Well he deserved it for asking it.
1030295 6
That guy must have no sense of humor
suckitthefuckup 0
I would have asked you on a date right then and there
ihatemylife10000 0
Sounds like something I would say...