Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the size of a man's penis is not proportional to his height. He was insecure because he's 5'6" and assumed everyone taller had a bigger penis than him. He's 30. FML
Today, my new boyfriend asked to know the penis size of every other guy I’ve been with. There are a lot. FML
Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML
Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML
Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
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Top comments
notjustanybody20 9
i wonder too. i like your sense of humour!
whitekid1497 7
It doesn't matter how big a girl's penis is, if she had a penis of any size I would be intimidated
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Comments (145)
JRFaceless 8
The British aren't exactly known for their funnies.
booee1985 1
Epic
congele 6
You're single because you deserve someone with a sense of humor :)
TylerDirty 15
lol you must have really scared that guy, I doubt he will ever ask anyone else that question again :p
tomtato 10
Go to a gay bar, you probably won't be single for too long.
keeganm 1
You sound cool to me. Maybe you're trying the wrong people?
SouthernBelle9 0
Hahaha. He probably felt intimidated that even though you're joking about a penis, it's still bigger than his. :P
MaoKittyMaoMao 6
You're better off. That potential relationship sounded like no fun at all. I always joke about my penis with my boyfriend. :D It lights up!
tinybear93 0
If I was a man and you aren't ugly, I'd date you because of that response.
wowyo 0
That's hilarious. Sux to be you